Me: Joe, how are you and Susie coming along in your relationship?
Joe: Oh, I think we are doing really good.
Me: Well, you know you are not getting any younger and you have been dating for 5 years. Are you thinking about marriage.
Joe: Of course, we both think about it a lot, but are afraid to talk about it too much.
Me: Afraid? How so?
Joe: I think Susie is afraid if she talks too much about it I’ll think she is pushing me. I am afraid because I can’t get really sure if its the right thing to do. If I talk about it too much, it'll put too much pressure on me because she’ll think I am moving in that direction. So, it is kind of the white elephant in the room if you know what I mean.
Me: Yeah, I can understand why each of you are hesitant for different reasons. Can I ask you a question?
Joe: Sure, go ahead.
Me: What information do you need that you do not have that if you had, you could decide?
Joe: (hesitates and is a little perplexed) That’s a good question. I don’t really know that I need to know more.
Me: Do you know you really love her?
Joe: yes
Me: do you know she really loves you?
Joe: as much as a man can know that this.
Me: Guess what your issue is?
Joe: Fear? (laughingly)
Me: Well, you can look at it that way, but there is a better way to understand what is going on.
Joe: Really? What? Tell me please.
Me: The first question I asked you was about what do you not know. I was talking about head knowledge, which is the typical idea of knowledge. The ancient Greeks actually had a word for head knowledge. Did you KNOW that?
Joe: Why do I feel you are about to tell me? (smiling)
Me: yeah, you KNOW me too well. (smiling back) The word for head knowledge is “eido”. It basically means knowledge we have that we get through our physical senses. You recognize you don’t need any more facts, so to speak. That’s normally what we mean when we say we need to know more or not. Its about acquiring facts. But there is another form of knowledge, that is really important but we don’t understand as well.
Joe: yeah, what’s that called?
Me: This other form of knowledge the ancient Greeks called “gnosis.” We sometimes call it heart knowledge. Its more mysterious because it doesn’t come to us through our physical senses.
Joe: Yeah, I’ve heard of heart knowledge, but I have never thought about it much and certainly never heard anyone explain it to me. How do we get heart knowledge or this thing called “gnosis”?
Me: Good question. It is not understood well. You are right about that. Some people call it intuition, some call it conscience. Some people even believe that gnosis is knowledge that is revealed to us somehow. This means we receive knowledge from something outside our self rather than gain it through our own efforts.
Joe: I can see that. Everyone knows they know things that they didn’t get through normal means.
Me: Actually, what we know we know, but we got through gnosis knowledge, is called faith.
Joe: Faith? I thought that was just a term Christians use. You mean everyone has faith?
Me: That’s right, Joe. Faith is simply evidence about something we gain through gnosis knowledge. Can you describe your faith in Susie’s love for you?
Joe: Well, good question. I certainly observe her actions towards me. She encourages me and does things for me. I know what she looks like, how she smells. I see her personality and like it. I guess all of that is head knowledge. You call that “eido”, right?
Me: Yes, Joe, you got that down pat. BUT, what do you know in your heart?
Joe: My heart tells me I don’t want to be without her. My heart tells me she would love me no matter what I did. I have thought and probably said sometime that I have faith in Susie. I guess I have acknowledged my faith in Susie and trust all of this evidence I have about our love for each other, but I never have thought of it as faith.
Me: That’s what I mean. It is amazing how many ways we trust faith in knowledge we cannot observe that influences how we think, feel and act. Yet, most people believe they are very logical – that they trust science or only what they can prove by what they observe.
Joe: That is so right. I was only thinking about my eido knowledge when I was thinking about marrying Susie. When I only included head knowledge, I was apathetic – I just wouldn’t act because its hard to trust just head knowledge.
Me: That’s right Joe. That’s a good principle to remember – eido knowledge without gnosis knowledge leaves us impotent to act. The opposite can be a problem too.
Joe: Oh yeah, what’s that?
Me: If I only have gnosis but I do not have eido that supports my gnosis, I may just be acting on emotion and that can be risky.
Joe: That’s kind of a “love at first sight” thinking that rushes people to the altar, only to have their marriage fall apart later.
Me: That’s right Joe. We need to back up our heart knowledge with head knowledge. Having both fit each other really gives us something we can trust enough to act on.
Joe: I see my problem. When I put my gnosis knowledge up with my edio knowledge, I can trust my action to marry Susie.
Note: Before the week was out, Joe asked Susie to marry him and she said yes. Susie forever thanks me for my discussion with Joe :-)
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