How often do we see managers saying this to employees, parents to children, coaches to players, and so on? What's behind this behavior of those in authority and what are the downstream consequences?
The need to control is a powerful force in many individuals. The problem is that most people learn to exercise control by limiting others from doing things wrong, generally through some forms of punishment. Yet, at the same time most people in authority have a desire for those "under their control" to provide their own expertise and creativity in accomplishing goals and helping the team win. We call this "empowering".
However, the use of control to eliminate mistakes ultimately conditions individuals to limit their efforts to stay "within the lines" because of the fear of being blamed if something goes wrong. The focus of work is to not make a mistake resulting in missed opportunities to solve problems, maximize potential, and create new paths of winning in a changing hostile world.
Another collateral damage to control, which focuses on the "do not's", is the stunting of trust. Trust occurs when one releases their need to control another. There is the belief that the trusted party will not act in their own self interest but in the interest of the whole. Information flows more freely and better solutions can be found. When an individual feels trusted, he/she is more committed to the outcomes and is willing to give more of him/herself beyond what the reward and punishment structures would deliver.
Managers tend to use the "do this, don't do that" approach in order to deliver a predictable status quo absent mistakes. Leaders produce significant outcomes by not focusing on blame, by seeking their followers input and ideas and by trusting that they will provide better outcomes than expected because they can and they want to. Stringent rules and policies and reward systems may limit mistakes but they never unleash the human capital available.
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