"For if a law had been given that could give life"

I have observed over my years how some parents have placed their children, especially their teens under law. The goal of controlling parents might be to protect their child from harm or to create "perfect" kids so others will see the parents in a positive light. Behind these and most other goals is the need to avoid blame and shame, the parents' own bondage to law. While it is a good thing that children are not harmed and that they grow up to reflect well on their parents, often the result is a child who lacks life. By this I mean that the child's self esteem hits rock bottom, like the gas gauge in the car showing the orange light. Depending on the child's personality they will either develop "learned helplessness" or will openly rebel. Either result is a child who grows into an adult lacking life.

This is what Paul is saying to the Galatians about using the law to guide our path. He goes on to say "then righteousness would indeed be by the law." The "if" suggests that the purpose and power of the law is not to give life.  The point is that a life that has been examined and deemed approved (righteousness) is not determined by following rules. When morality and obedience are used in parental relationships primarily to control children in accomplishing the parents' goal, the child's soul is under judgment and not nourished, and life is sucked out of them.

I am witnessing the destructive consequences of parents who both leave their child to figure life out on their own (leading to a sense of abandonment) and put them in a small box by condemning what they do or dont do. Mainly the parents choose to constantly point out how the child is constantly not measuring up to their standards. Any guidance they give is legalistic. Communication is shut down and alienation results as trust is destroyed. In the name of protection and morality, the parents are producing an adult child who cannot function. More importantly, the adult child is so starved for affection and affirmation that they relate to others in an overly needy way. This drives others away, creating an even greater need for affirmation. Anyone who pays attention to the adult child instantly becomes a "best friend", ultimately driving that person away too.

The effect of legalistic parents on the growth and development of their children is a common example of this Biblical truth. Ironically, this is as, if not more, prevalent in Christian homes.

Every occurrence is sad, but when this happens to those close to us, it becomes "heart break hotel".

But there's always HOPE in the redemptive work of Grace.

Fathers, give your children, especially teens
        favor
        all that is good (that's peace, shalom, btw)
        life