Getting our feelings hurt - is this a sin?

My oldest grand daughter is really "on fire" for Jesus right now. She often posts scripture on FB that challenges people to "live for Jesus". Recently she posted the following verse form James
"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."  James 1: 19 - 20


My response to her (as is normal) was to consider that Jesus is more concerned with our heart than our behavior. I reminded her people are defiled from the inside out. I got a starry glazed look back :-)   To help her understand I used the following example:


I asked, "do you ever get your feelings hurt?" She replied, "of course, all the time." I then said, "have you ever thought that getting your feelings hurt is a sin?" She knew it was wrong to hurt others BUT she looked at me a bit cocked eyed on this question and I got the response I expected, "I don't understand." So, my explanation was as follows:


In order to get our feelings hurt we must have the right to get offended by another person. Is "our right to be offended" from a carnal or Kingdom mind? Did God stand on His right to be offended when Adam (and thus all mankind) turned against Him? No, He responded on OUR behalf to fix OUR problem (the Cross). Jesus explicitly says in Sermon of the Mount that the Kingdom of Heaven is like this - if someone makes you go 1 mile, go another (although they have no right to ask you to go but 1 mile). If someone asks for tunic, give them your cloak as well (although they only have a right to ask for your tunic).


Standing on our rights is carnal minded, thus sinful. Being in harmony with the Kingdom of Heaven (righteousness) involves being transformed by Grace. This means that the grace we have received removes from our heart the negative response to being offended by others. So while the James 1 passage is right in terms of our behavior, it fails to remind us that it is being in harmony with the Heavenlies that makes us righteous, not refraining from bad behavior.


My grand daughter often says, "just trust Jesus." I say, "for what?" No answer. I remind her that being in harmony with the Heavenlies is trusting Jesus for our well being. When that happens, then how can anyone else offend us? I hope my grand daughter gets this, but then it took me years to and I fail all the time. She's asking the right questions and headed in the right direction and that brings joy to a Pop's heart :-)