"what becomes of the broken hearted?"

You may have heard this popular 60's song about the "broken hearted"? (see link below to song) It's a person's search for peace to relieve the pain of "a love that is now deaprted." There is confidence in the search, but no confidence in the ultimate resolution. No wonder this song has timeless popularity. Having your heart broken is as human as breathing.


One of the main reasons many people do not put themselves out there in relationships is to protect against a broken heart. It is a pain that is better avoided (many feel). In Christian circles we hear that God "heals the broken heart." He certainly does. It's comforting to know, and one of the appeals Christians acknowledge about their faith. A "broken heart" seems inevitable and the only options seemingly available are to avoid loving or get an insurance policy to fix it when it occurs. But, is this really the case?

Being the ponderer I am, I have several questions that may affect how you make sense of a "broken heart." At least, probing questions like, "what is a broken heart and how does it get broken?" has helped me find a third option found in a totally different perspective.

The heart is usually considered the seat of our affections. So, I assume a 'broken heart' is when we send our most precious affection out and get nothing back, or even worse, rejection. A 'broken heart' occurs when deep affection is not reciprocated. The failure to get back in proportion to what we send out are usually circumstances, like when the target of our affection moves away or dies or a choice the target of our affection makes to not return their heart to us. Sometimes, our heart is broken when its not even set on another person but to something we treasure about ourselves, like a dream, a job, possessions, our physical features, etc.

It seems then that what matters the most in seeking a life without a 'broken heart' has to do with the target of our most precious affections. The song seems to have an air of futility in it. Is it possible that when the target of our affection can never meet the standard of certainty, the search for a peace from not getting your heart broken is indeed futile?

So, what is the answer the songwriter is seeking but does not find in this song? It must be in either never seeking a target for our heart's most precious affections or seeking a target that never fails to satisfy our yearnings. Those that assume "I just will not seek," may have momentary reprieve from pain, but do not find a lasting peace. The human condition is made to be in intimate relationship. That's where our joy comes from. The songwriter must see this because he doesn't consider it an option.

Then, we must seek and find a relatioship in which our heart's most precious affections are ALWAYS honored. You can look around all you like but I'm not sure this exist outside of the unfailing love of God in Jesus.

Interestingly, if and when Jesus is the source of our most precious affection and intimacy, our heart does not get broken. Oh, wait. Does this put a different spin on "God heals the broken hearted." If our affections are properly placed, then our heart is not ever broken and therefore never needs healing. So, why do Christians find more appeal in "God heals the broken hearted" than in the promises of never having our heart broken in the first place, like when Jesus receives our most precious affections?

Maybe this is what "repent" (change your mind completely) means? Maybe this is the transformtion that comes when we do not conform to this world's system of thinking (the message of this song) but renew our mind to something very different from our natural order of thought?

"What becomes of the broken hearted?" They find new life in Christ. A life that is free to love others without the risk of a 'broken heart.' A life where intimacy is only rewarded and never threatened. But wait, that option wasn't in the song. So, maybe a better perspective is - whether we even have a broekn heart may depend on who or what is holding our heart in their hands.

One final point. You might be thinking, "but Prof, what about grief and sadness?" Difficult emotions are normal in loss, but this is different from a broken heart. If you have had your heart broken, you know the difference.

Just something worth pondering ...... 

here's the song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQywZYoGB1g

What makes hate right?

It seems there are some in our society that need to hate others in our society. The hateful segment is then frowned upon by its opposition and called "a hate group." This then results in protests against the "hate groups" by the opposition who hate the "hate groups." There are even a growing number of behaviors society calls "hate crimes" to make the crime seem worse than if the word "hate" were not included.

The question I have is, "Are actions against hate actually motivated by hate?" Is one part of society deciding another is so distasteful that they need punishing? What is behind this need to punish hate? Is a reciprocating action against hate also hate? Since most people generally want to do what is right, what makes hate seem right?

Why do people see others' hate and miss their own? Why can anyone on either side of an issue justify hating another? Oh, that may be the answer - justification. People who are different and don't agree with me are distasteful and deserve to be hated. That is an equal and balanced position. That is in fact JUSTICE - hating someone distasteful is giving them what they deserve.

One party sees another as so distasteful they deserve contempt. The other side then sees the first party's hatred as so distasteful, they deserve contempt. That's JUSTICE, reciprocity, equilibrium, punitive balance. It is what pure justice produces - a form of revenge.

What some see as the highest virtue of the human condition - justice - may be in fact the cause of the most distasteful human condition - hate. 

Because justice is the greatest concern of humans (accepted position in psychology), any action can be justified if it is deserved.

Actions themselves are not really viewed as right or wrong as long as the action is in balance or what we might say, "is deserved."

Justice makes hate right.

This is a fascinating outcome when justice is man's preeminent concern. There is another option that we could take, but it would require that we "not be conformed to this world but transformed by the renewing of our mind."

You can explore this more in my new book, "b4Worldview: there are ONLY TWO" found at

https://www.amazon.com/b4Worldview-there-are-ONLY-TWO/dp/1719372462/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1529795241&sr=8-1&keywords=b4worldview%20caldwell