"For if a law had been given that could give life"

I have observed over my years how some parents have placed their children, especially their teens under law. The goal of controlling parents might be to protect their child from harm or to create "perfect" kids so others will see the parents in a positive light. Behind these and most other goals is the need to avoid blame and shame, the parents' own bondage to law. While it is a good thing that children are not harmed and that they grow up to reflect well on their parents, often the result is a child who lacks life. By this I mean that the child's self esteem hits rock bottom, like the gas gauge in the car showing the orange light. Depending on the child's personality they will either develop "learned helplessness" or will openly rebel. Either result is a child who grows into an adult lacking life.

This is what Paul is saying to the Galatians about using the law to guide our path. He goes on to say "then righteousness would indeed be by the law." The "if" suggests that the purpose and power of the law is not to give life.  The point is that a life that has been examined and deemed approved (righteousness) is not determined by following rules. When morality and obedience are used in parental relationships primarily to control children in accomplishing the parents' goal, the child's soul is under judgment and not nourished, and life is sucked out of them.

I am witnessing the destructive consequences of parents who both leave their child to figure life out on their own (leading to a sense of abandonment) and put them in a small box by condemning what they do or dont do. Mainly the parents choose to constantly point out how the child is constantly not measuring up to their standards. Any guidance they give is legalistic. Communication is shut down and alienation results as trust is destroyed. In the name of protection and morality, the parents are producing an adult child who cannot function. More importantly, the adult child is so starved for affection and affirmation that they relate to others in an overly needy way. This drives others away, creating an even greater need for affirmation. Anyone who pays attention to the adult child instantly becomes a "best friend", ultimately driving that person away too.

The effect of legalistic parents on the growth and development of their children is a common example of this Biblical truth. Ironically, this is as, if not more, prevalent in Christian homes.

Every occurrence is sad, but when this happens to those close to us, it becomes "heart break hotel".

But there's always HOPE in the redemptive work of Grace.

Fathers, give your children, especially teens
        favor
        all that is good (that's peace, shalom, btw)
        life

i HOPE i make this putt

Like in golf, people often use the word HOPE to really mean "wish". "i hope it doesn't rain today", "i hope i get this or that for Christmas", and so on. This has been a pet peeve of mine for a long time but I just got home from golf with the guys and I was reminded how much we misuse the word. When a bud said "i hope the opponents are struggling today," I reminded him that we had no assurance that they were messing up so you really have no hope, just a wish.

I then took the opportunity to explain that we make the real notion of hope meaningless because we have chronic misuse of it in our culture.




You may be saying to yourself by now, "what's the big deal?" Well, one reason the Christian faith is irrelevant to the faithless in our world is because the HOPE that is promised doesn't have meaning beyond that of a wish. Its not a very exciting proposition to simply wish God is on our side, or just wish His promises are true or wish He would bless us.

The word HOPE means an assurance or confidence something is. So when we HOPE something is true or going to happen, the probability is 100% that it is or will. The original Webster dictionary says "hope always gives joy whereas wish or desire may produce or be accompanied by pain or anxiety."  Thus when God in His word says your HOPE is in Him, He means you can depend on Him, not just wish He comes through.

I love Abraham's perspective when God said he would be a father of many generations. He was very old and had no heir. Abraham claimed he "in HOPE, without HOPE, believed." In other words Abraham believed the assurance of God's promise even when there was no confidence in what he saw or understood about his ability to father a nation.

When we have 100% assurance we will make the putt, we can say "i HOPE i make that putt." Until then we need to stay with "wish" so that we don't embed in our mind the HOPE we receive from God is only likely. Our joy and freedom depends on how we make sense of HOPE.

Making sense like a Seal

Tonight I heard Thom Shea speak. Thom is a retired Navy Seal and author of the book "Unbreakable: A Navy Seal's Way of Life".

Thom served 23 years with distinguished Valor as a Navy SEAL. During his military career he served in three wars, ultimately leading a team of Navy SEALs into Afghanistan in 2009 where he earned a Silver Star, Bronze Star with Valor, Army Commendation with Valor and his second Combat Action medal. He was hand-selected to serve as Officer In Charge of the famed SEAL Sniper course from 2010 – 2012. During his two year tenure, he transformed the sniper curriculum while successfully increasing both graduation numbers and shooting performance test scores.

Thom currently works with executives and high performance individuals "to achieve the next horizon level results." Instead of just telling interesting stories, Thom shared the mindset of a Navy Seal and how that form of sense-making leads to success as a seal in battle or as an individual in any area of life. Below are just quotes from his sharing with the group that I found self explanatory so I find no need to embellish them, just report them for your hearing.

"Quitting is up to me, nobody else.
When your plan fails, now everything is possible.
I don't have a solution, I'm always in motion til it happens.
Two inches from the point you give up is the solution.
You don;t need permission, just do it - change what's in your way.
I am living the life I created for myself.
Embrace the obstacles.
Quitting almost always makes sense.
Don't decide 9to quit or go on) "here", get to "there" and make the decision.
If you don't give up, it is phenomenal.
No matter how smart you are, if you are not committed to the end game, you cannot win."
It doesn't matter who the boss is, you can always be effective.
It doesn't matter who the enemy is, they are the enemy.
High level performers are always honing their craft.
What if you gave yourself permission not to quit to make yourself better."

Success as a Navy Seal was being transformed by this mindset and living it right in the throws of defeat.

Certainly worth pondering .....