the heart of a teenager

"I am weary from moaning, every night I flood my bed with tears, I drench my couch with weeping. My eyes are wasting away from grief."

I now have a granddaughter who is full steam ahead teen. Recently she has been texting me her anxieties. "Why do I feel alone right now?" "Why is my friend being so mean to me?" "What do I do with my feelings when I really like a boy and he's moving away soon?" "Do you think I am too young to be in love?" and on and on, questions about life and why its so tough. I'd have to say that this is a mixed blessing. I am grateful she is willing to include me in her quest for answers, but it reminds me of the "greater than life pressures" that faces peeps in this difficult life stage.

Yet, are any of us ever exempt from such anxieties? Oh, maybe the circumstances are different, maybe the stakes are higher and maybe maturity helps us better make sense of what's happening (BTW, this is the biggest issue for teens). However, while the quote above sounds like the late night texts I have been receiving, it is actually from Psalm 6 where David is lamenting his troubled soul.

None of us escape a "troubled soul", Why? Because all emotion is simply a complex human response to discrepancies arising from our expectations. Positive emotions come when we exceed our expectations and negative ones come when they are unmet. Specifically, anxiety is the fearful anticipation that our expectations will NOT be met based on how we view ourselves and the world around us.

The bottom line for my granddaughter and all of us is that anxiety and fear are a crisis of faith. Basically, we trust that our soul's well-being is met through our circumstances rather than through God's loving reign over our life. We believe we know what is best for us and those we love. That's where maturity helps. One thing I have learned is that I may be the last peep that knows what's best for me :-)

I regularly encourage my granddaughter by reminding her of an eternal truth. God loves us and desires the best for us. While Satan cannot effect our eternal destiny, he can surely demoralize us with fear and anxiety by distracting us from what God is doing and how He sees us. Pondering the invisible and eternal truths of God when our feelings suggest otherwise is always worth pondering .....

"it's a hold up!!"

I have a friend who went through some very difficult times. I'll spare all the details but I want to share a lesson I learned from knowing her. She is very competent and hard working, yet she was drowning in life circumstances because she had no job. Significant financial stress led to self-esteem and self-confident issues. Its easy for someone in this situation to feel hopeless, and often she did.

Yet I knew that her life would turn on a dime when she got the right job. I just tried to "hold her up" during the tough times. Keep her afloat financially where I could but mainly encourage her and continue to help her see a vision for her life. She even found that she felt the best when she was helping others although she was "falling". My thoughts were "just don't let the pressure of the moment overtake her". I repeatedly told her that one day soon her soul would soar, this was just a small glitch in her life that seemed much larger than it really was due to the saliency of her immediate situation.

I knew she had gotten a job that seemed just right, but I had not heard from her for weeks and din't know how things were going. Yesterday she calls to report that life is great. The job is a perfect fit, she is very happy, fulfilled, and is indeed SOARING!

WE all have peeps in our life going thru difficult times that are temporary for them, yet they seem overwhelming. These peeps are special and deserve our support. Its amazing how moments in our lives can be so difficult that we let them define us, rather than letting the special person God made us to be to define us. This is where our support is so important. Helping someone stay afloat in these times makes us a "blessing partner" with God. Not only are we blessed when we are helping others, but when others are held up during tough times, they come out the other side to be a blessing to others. God is a multiplier of blessing!!

So, when we find someone struggling to stay afloat in life, remember how special they are and the best thing we can do for them is to be present and say "it's a hold up" and you will not sink!!!!

pondering them soaring is one of the greatest joys in life .....

"But for this purpose ..."

"The Purpose Driven Life" has been a big hit as a book and personal study. There is something about peeps that drive them to the meaning or "why" of life. While this focus on purpose has and can lead to a more productive and satisfied life, there is caution!!

When a peep makes sense of his/her purpose driven life thru a carnal mind, the point of purpose is self gratification, self-exaltation, and self righteousness, even when the purpose is "good". Mazlow's hierarchy notes the highest level of human need is SELF-ACTUALIZATION. Thus, the flesh (or human nature) seeks self above all else, even when the pursuit is deemed honorable by society (culture). The carnal mind leads us to believe "purpose" is about what we contribute, accomplish or achieve.

Is there another way to make sense of "purpose driven life"? Of course, if you have been reading my blogs you know by now there is the Kingdom mind. How is it different? Jesus gives us some insight into this when he explains His own sense of purpose (the account of this is John 12: 27 -36).

"But for this purpose I have come to this hour." Jesus is pointing to the Cross as the purpose to which He is driven. However, the preceding statement is often missed. He says, "Now is my soul troubled and what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour?" Wow, Jesus is acknowledging that His circumstances are not working in His favor. His goal is not faring well in the eyes of the world. It appears to all He is defeated, not winning. He admits this ain't fun. While Jesus' focus of goal accomplishment is not understood by the world, His situation still troubles Him. One option He admits is to be delivered from His situation, but he understands circumstantial deliverance is not consistent with His purpose.

Does this sound familiar to you? It seems we find ourselves more often "troubled" than victorious. We try to give to others but they don't seem grateful and sometimes even betray us. We try to be honorable in our actions and yet we often don't win. We "obey" God but He doesn't seem to prosper us. Yet, Jesus positions His notion of fulling purpose in the context of a "troubled soul." This doesn't sound like our approach to purpose. Remember, we want to fulfill our purpose so we can "look good" and are happy and fulfilled.

If we read on, we see another statement from Jesus, "This voice (God proclaiming His purpose) has come for YOUR SAKE, not mind." Oh, the point of our purpose is not us. Its NOT about OUR GLORY, its what God wishes for us with respect to someone else's benefit so God gets the glory. Maybe our purpose (like Jesus) comes from our actions which have circumstantial headwinds, not tailwinds, that visibly show our weakness, lack of self-sufficiency, and the absence of personal victory. Maybe its in our darkness that peeps see His light. Maybe that's our purpose.

I think that's the point. Jesus concludes with these words, "believe in the light, that you may become sons of light (peeps who shine)." Why do we spend so much time fretting about finding our purpose in life? Here it is, "this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine .."

So, when you are driven to find your purpose, BEWARE of the troubled soul because it is in circumstantial darkness that God's light will shine in your life :-)

Certainly worth pondering ......

making sense of "my new job"

This is the time of the year that I have former students starting their "big peep" job after graduation. I frequently get requests for perspective (since I don't give advice) on getting started in their new job. Young peeps beginning their careers are achievement oriented. they want to make a difference. They want to use all of the "great" knowledge and competencies they acquired in their time in college. They want their degree to make a difference in what they get to do and how employers view them.

So here are a few of the points I offer to help them gain a healthy perspective:
1. do anything and everything (within the law) that needs to be done and without being asked.
2. the early days of a new job are an interesting tension between a high motivation to achieve and a situation where you are too new to have integrated into the work flow and do not have enough to do - sooo be very patient with yourself, your co-workers, and your boss.
3.  learn how your business creates customers and start doing things that works toward that end, this makes you strategic.
4. don't be too quick to take credit for what you do but focus on making others successful.

I love seeing my recent students find their path, scratch the "itches of their soul", and soar in their young lives because they prepared themselves for great things and are now beginning that journey.

Its something I like to ponder .....