making sense of personality

Personality is the tendency to behave in a certain way. It has motivational tendencies embedded within and is aligned with our purpose, calling, giftedness (see post on 4/3 "Purpose, ambition, and calling"). Thus, one's personality is neither right or wrong, good or evil, it simply is how we are wired. Often people feel pride or shame over their personality. Neither is appropriate. Contrary to popular belief, personality is not what Scripture calls our flesh. Whether we are sinful or righteous depends upon our heart's disposition to worship and depend upon ourself or upon our faith in what God has said and done on our behalf. As discussed in earlier posts "flesh" denotes our carnal mind (seeking to exalt self) versus a Kingdom mind, which has been transformed by Grace.

We should celebrate our personality as God's blessing on us. When our heart is adoring and trusting Christ, our personality is guiding our behavior in a way that honors Him and fulfills us. Below is a description of my Myers Brigg personality type (INTP). Those of you that know me will see that this personality explains why I do what I do (including this Blog). When I am behaving consistent with this, my life flows well. When my heart is trusting God, my life's rhythm is Holy :-)

Same for each of you. Knowing your personality will free you to enjoy how God has blessed you to be a blessing ..... something to consider 4 sure!!

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INTP personality type (Myers Brigg)

They are the master designers of all kinds of theoretical systems, including school curricula, corporate strategies, and new technologies. For INTP’s, the world exists primarily to be analyzed, understood, explained - and re-designed. External reality in itself is unimportant, little more than raw material to be organized into structural models. What is important for INTP’s is that they grasp fundamental principles and natural laws, and that their designs are elegant, that is, efficient and coherent.

INTP’s are rare - maybe one percent of the population - and show the greatest precision in thought and speech of all the types. They tend to see distinctions and inconsistencies instantaneously, and can detect contradictions no matter when or where they were made. It is difficult for an INTP’s to listen to nonsense, even in a casual conversation, without pointing out the speaker's error. And in any serious discussion or debate INTP’s are devastating, their skill in framing arguments giving them an enormous advantage. INTP’s regard all discussions as a search for understanding, and believe their function is to eliminate inconsistencies, which can make communication with them an uncomfortable experience for many.

Ruthless pragmatists about ideas, and insatiably curious, INTP’s are driven to find the most efficient means to their ends, and they will learn in any manner and degree they can. They will listen to amateurs if their ideas are useful, and will ignore the experts if theirs are not. Authority derived from office, credential, or celebrity does not impress them. INTP’s are interested only in what make sense, and thus only statements that are consistent and coherent carry any weight with them.

INTP’s often seem difficult to know. They are inclined to be shy except with close friends, and their reserve is difficult to penetrate. Able to concentrate better than any other type, they prefer to work quietly at their computers or drafting tables, and often alone. INTP’s also become obsessed with analysis, and this can seem to shut others out. Once caught up in a thought process, INTP’s close off and persevere until they comprehend the issue in all its complexity. INTP’s prize intelligence, and with their grand desire to grasp the structure of the universe, they can seem arrogant and may show impatience with others who have less ability, or who are less driven.
               

making sense of our day and our destiny

"do not fear, little flock (that's us) for it is our Father's good pleasure to give you His kingdom"
 Luke 12:32


"Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk (that is, move about in life) according to their carnal mind but according to a Kingdom mind."
Romans 8:1


It is very good news that Grace controls our lives and our destiny. Anxiousness and fear only enter our day when we base confidence in self for our moments and our future!!      surely something to ponder .....

Hey parents, "get a grip", better yet, "let go"!!

As a young man I was driven by responsibility. The more I got, the better I performed. While this had its good points, as a parent it was not so good. When my son and daughter were young, their mother left us. Now this devastated me for a while and true to form, my response was to SEIZE the responsibility for my children's happiness, responsibility in over drive. While I continued to be messy in my adult relationships, I was a committed parent. What I did not realize was that my kids were being burdened by my well-being, which was driven by whether they were happy or not.

When God moved in my life in 1983 and opened my eyes spiritually, one thing that happened was freedom in my responsibility as a parent. Basically God said, "these are my children, not yours, I'll call you when I need you. Don't you know I love them more than you can ever imagine? Get a grip, let go!!" As my burden for their happiness was released to God and I could trust Him for that, the kids began to get freedom to be what God had designed them to be, without a burden for my happiness.

God used a great experience in their lives to demonstrate this to me. I desired that they have a "spiritual experience" somewhere in their youth or young adult life to draw on throughout their adult life. Mainly I thought about a youth retreat with some "mountain top" experience they could always point to. So I prayed and of course my prayer was so limiting.

Here's what happened over a course of a few years. A few years out of college my son was doing nicely in building his career. He calls one day and says, "dad, I want to take a year off and grow spiritually." What better words could a dad want to hear from his son. So my 'flesh' kicks in to try and use my influence to help him out, after all, I lived in Charlotte, NC - the mecca of Christian ministry. Before I could get very far, he calls and says he is going to spend a year traveling with Josh McDowell as his intern. I said, "wow, how did you do that?" He replied, "I just called him and asked." God then said to me, "see I told you I can handle this way better than you ever could imagine." Instead of a weekend retreat I thought would work well, he was spending a year traveling the world with Josh   :-)

Then there is my daughter. Oh my, how was she going to have that "spiritual experience"? In a totally different process than my vision for her spiritual growth, she was interested in studying in Spain. She was in college and majoring in Spanish. So we began to seek what opportunities existed there for language immersion. Before we could get very far, out of the blue came the opportunity to spend 4 months with YWAM at the Barcelona Olympic youth outreach ministry. Because she was proficient in the language, she immediately became a key person in the planning and support for bringing 2000 young Christians to Barcelona for the 2 weeks of the Olympics to witness in the barrios of Barcelona. Besides the months leading up to the outreach where she experienced the prayer life and miracles of YWAMer's, she spent 2 weeks translating for a South African team. God has such a sense of humor, a little Southern girl from Winthrop University translating the gospel message presented by South African young people in the ghettos of Barcelona. God went to some real extremes for me to get it, He is in control and i can just come along and enjoy His parenting.

So, parents, it's never too late to get a grip and LET GO -  something to ponder ....

So, what does God have in store for you?

"for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future"  Jeremiah 29: 11


About 20 years ago I had an employee who was not a Christian. However, she set outside my office and often overheard my discussions with others about God and my faith. Slowly she would come in and ask me questions. Over time, God brought her unto Himself, then her husband, her children, sister, brother, and their families trusted Jesus for their lives. Recently her elderly dad moved to her city to live his last years. She had been sharing Jesus with him for several years and soon (with him around more often) they were singing God's praises together on a regular basis.

Tonight we celebrated her dad's life as he died last week. People from all around gathered to praise God for his life. Dozens of friends and family were there to honor his passing to glory, many could be linked to my former employee's persistent witness of God's transforming power in her life. As we sang Amazing Grace I was overwhelmed with tears of joy. I couldn't stop the tears. Why???

God brought to my mind the hours in my office that she I and spent discussing God just in the normal course of the work day. It was from those simple moments 20 years ago between two people that this entire family and many friends were eternally blessed. She and I certainly did not know the future nor God's plan for it. We just prayed for each family member over time -
God did His thing!!!!!!!

This is what God means when He says He will prosper us - He will be faithful to work the transforming miracles in lives of those we love and present to Him in faith.

I was blessed looking back at the legacy of those simple conversations between two people - a room full of people sharing their love and admiration for a man who was ushered into eternity by God and the faithfulness of his daughter - that my friends is what God has in store for us!!!

"Let's have the truth, please! REALLY?"

No moral person would argue that telling the truth is the honorable thing to do. The question, however, is how easy is it to always know what "telling the truth" really means. One of the 10 commandments declares we should bear no false witness. This would mean that telling the truth is refraining from misleading or misinforming someone when we know the difference. This is quite clear with objective facts. Example, one's age is an objective fact and it would be "bearing false witness" if we told someone our age is 21 when it is really 20. BUT, there are many instances when we are not dealing with OBJECTIVE facts.

For example, suppose we believe that we need some other person, or even love some other person. To what degree is this subjective, or subject to our sense-making mechanisms. Because of the way we perceive ourselves and events around us, we may believe we need or love someone. BUT, what makes that true??

There are other challenges regarding being truthful. We have covered the moral imperative to never intentionally mislead or misinform another when we are confronted by another. BUT, what about when we know things that another doesn't and don't tell them. There are two conditions of this. One is the other person desires to know this from us and withholding the truth (as we understand it) would be contrary to the moral imperative to be truthful. BUT, what about when another person really doesn't seek from us or maybe even does not want to know what is true. Do we have a moral imperative to tell them anyway? Is it being untruthful when we withhold something we know to be true from another to protect them from harm that the truth may cause them? Do we tell our aunt who is overweight that she is fat without her asking us our perspective? Withholding what we know to be true when others really don't seek it from us seems to be a dilemma, especially when what we know to be true is subjective, or determined by the limitations on our own sense-making.


So, telling the truth may not be so simple. What are our options?

For those who have trusted Jesus to provide them life, we have a really good option. Jesus said He is the truth. OK, then one thing we can do is depend on Him to provide "light" as the basis for our sense-making (kingdom mind). Another thing we can do is to trust He will redeem all the mistakes we make in failing as truth tellers - AND for one, I make many, many mistakes in this area.

Certainly something to ponder .......

Reflections from Nantucket

It’s early Friday morning, my last day in Nantucket. It is the 12^th year out of the last 13 that I have spent the first week of August here. It is an unusual place in many respects - the eastern most island in New England. You might say it is one vacation spot where the place defines the tourists, not vice versa. It is quaint, an island approximately 3 miles wide and 20+ miles long. There are no chain restaurants or hotels, everything seems locally owned. No high rise buildings along the beaches, just natural sand and dunes with tall grass blowing in the ever present breezes.  While most of the country sizzles in August heat, temperatures here stay in the 60’s and 70’s. It’s not uncommon to see jackets and bikinis on the beach at the same time. Nantucket seems more European than American – no sales tax added to purchases, secular and liberal charm (the tallest structure remains the steeple on the Unitarian Church), hard to find a big glass of iced tea, often languages heard on the street are French, German, Spanish, and many of the people doing service jobs are foreign (many young people from Ireland).

There are lots of children and teens, but no commercial outlets for them such as game rooms, theme parks, etc. They seem civil and human most of the time as they just hang out with each other and their families. Very little changes here from year to year. Murray’s liquor store on Main Street is always busy. There is always a live drama production being offered at Centre Stage, located in the basement of The Methodist Church on Centre St. The English garden at the Manor House is always inviting to guests and the hydrangea throughout the island are stunning.  The ferries come and go regularly bringing new faces and taking those back who are reluctant to leave. The lines at the Juice Box (fantastic ice cream) are always out the door. But, some things do change. 21 Federal changed its name. It is an iconic landmark fine dining restaurant often cited in novels set on Nantucket.

The pace is slow and planned activities are limited offering plenty of time for reflection, my favorite activity on Nantucket. It’s helpful to read, reflect, and remember. Remember the people who were special in my life in times past. Letting the fond memories float to the surface and warm my heart. I saw Midnight In Paris last night. While a bit bizarre, the movie’s point is that we all like to think of times past as The Golden Years. But if truth were known, for the people who lived in those times, it was simply their life and they looked to the past for their “golden years”. So reflection can and should also focus on the now, for today is the only day we really have. Today is yesterday’s tomorrow.  Today encompasses both our dreams and our “golden days gone by”.

Today is a lovely day. It’s early in the morning. Hardly anyone is stirring but me. What will the day afford me? Opportunities unknown – we’ll see!!!!!!