making sense of "blessings"

A friend has been pondering what it means to bless and be blessed, so "this Bud's (blog) for you." @ftr

A good place to make sense of blessings is Ephesians 1: 3. This is one of the most intriguing verses in the Bible, mainly because it use three derivatives (separate Greek words) of the word "bless."

"Blessed be the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ." 

The first use of "bless" is how we view and approach God. In this case "blessed" means we give God our greatest adoration. The second and third refers to how God blesses us. Here the word for "blessed" means to bestow or to give to another freely of Himself. Then finally "blessing" means the privilege and provision of what belongs to the blessor (in this instance Heaven).

To apply this in human relationships how would we make sense of the notion that in a relationship we both bless and are blessed by each other?

To bless another person we freely give from what we have that is uniquely us and the other person is blessed by receiving the privilege of knowing us deeply and the joy that comes from that intimacy.

Certainly someone could make this statement mean what they would like, that's the post modern culture in which we live. However, this interpretation is anchored in thousands of years of tradition around the meaning of words rooted in "bless".

After all, "if a word can mean anything, then it means nothing!"
Hope this helps pondering on making sense of blessing and being blessed :-)

making sense of Christmas

By now everyone is into the annual ritual of trying to de-emphasize the commercial side of Christmas and seeking the spiritual side. "Jesus is the reason for the season" is the regular reminder of Christian parents to their children. While kids are starry-eyed over the presents they will receive and what Santa will bring to them, parents are redirecting attention to the importance of giving (more about this later).

Most people's favorite Christmas story is from Luke. That story reads well and is the source of nativity scenes and Christmas plays. From this story shepherds, Angels, mangers, stars, etc. become the Christmas icons. My favorite Christmas story is in John 1: 1, 14 (everybody can memorize this Christmas story :-)

"In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. .. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us, the glory of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth."

This story brings a profound Christmas message. In the Incarnate Christ we have the solution (grace) to the problem. (truth). The truth is that we are born at enmity with God (inheritance from Adam) and we have no way home on our own. This is quite a problem. The solution is grace which came to us at this very first Christmas. Remember, grace is the opposite of Social Exchange, which is the truth of how we operate in our nature (the flesh).  Grace is not expecting when we give and not being obligated when we receive. The gift of Grace is being able to love another person free from all expectations because that is what God did for us at Christmas, came to us free of expectations and full of love.

The byproducts of Grace and Truth are peace and joy (two words on many Christmas cards). Peace is more than the absence of turmoil, it is the presence of all that is good (Shalom). As I discussed in the previous blog, joy is not happiness. Joy is a state of well being based on the excitement of knowing we have Peace.

This gets me to the main point of Christmas. I think we mistakenly focus too much on giving, forcing our children to see that Christmas is ALL about our giving. The truth is that Christmas is about our receiving. Children grow up to be adults like us and they cannot receive. Giving lets us maintain a sense of control, receiving makes us vulnerable. We must trust the Giver. Its receiving Christ that ultimately transforms us, not OUR giving. He gave, we receive. The Gospel is full of admonition for us to receive Jesus (ex. John 1:12, Col 2: 6-7). The Good News that comes to us at Christmas is that Grace overcomes the truth about ourselves, and in doing so, we are never the same. We become givers not out of duty or expectation of getting BUT because giving becomes our nature and Grace becomes the way we make sense of ourself and the world around us.
 =*..*=

All we have to do is receive the gift!!
That, my friend, is Joy to the World  ......

making sense of "The Pursuit of Happiness"

         
It is especially American to anchor our personal and societal aspirations in the notion of pursuing happiness. Its an "inalienable right" (T Jefferson), isn't it? We are all entitled to it, aren't we? Yet, as this cartoon aptly points out, pursuing happiness is really the genesis of worry. We worry whether we will ever be happy. When we reach some state of being happy, then we worry if we can keep it.

The root word for happiness is "hap". This is the same root for the word "happenstance." Happiness is simply a positive feeling we receive from circumstances that meet our needs or wants. Its the "presence of pleasure and the absence of pain" (Epicurus). It depends on how others respond to us and what we extract through exchange with the world around us. Often we make sense of happiness by comparing our self to others

So, the "pursuit of happiness" is carnally minded, based on the world's system of reciprocity. Thus, achieving happiness is fleeting, a constant struggle to keep the exchange working.

Then there is the idea of the "hedonic treadmill." This is the notion that people are constantly pursuing happiness but once attained, we begin seeking again. Happiness is an insatiable pursuit.

The Kingdom mind does not emphasize happiness as an aspiration. Jesus talks often about joy. "Blessed are" (Matt 5) means "O the joy of being." Joy is a state (not a feeling) in which our soul has permanent well being and more importantly, it is not dependent on our circumstances. "Blessed" is the Greek word makarios which means well being that is internally sustained. Jesus said "I come that you may have joy and that your joy may be full."

Joy is the real end game of life. Receiving well being that cannot be taken from us and will never wither away is the product of redemption. Intimate relationship with the King of the Universe and harmony with the Heavenlies (however you wish to view righteousness) is our gift from a loving Father.

While there is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy, is the "Pursuit of Happiness" really "life's natural end of existence" (Aristotle)?  something to ponder ....

the movie "The Other Side of Heaven"

   quote


"There is a connection between the Heavenlies and the Earth. Finding that connection makes everything meaningful, even death. Missing the connection makes everything meaningless, even life."

                     
Now that is how we make sense of our self and the world around us!!

Something to ponder :-)

Culture, Ethics, and The Law

            

There are three main structures that govern behavior in any collectivity or "society" (e.g., family, organization, team, gathering, or government entity). First, there are laws or other encoded rules and policies. These are formally devised and stated restrictions on behavior that when violated, leads to punishment of the individual by agents of the collectivity. Then there are uncodified or informal controls on behavior that occur at two levels, ethics and culture.

Ethical duties refer to the obligations owed by members of a "society" to other members of that "society". Ethical duties get down to the absolute essence of what is right, just, and fair for everyone.While these judgments may include what is legal, ethical (or moral) behavior goes beyond just staying legal. There are six universal rules or conditions with historical sequence that have been developed to guide ethical decisions based on what is fair, just, and right for everyone.

1. Personal virtue (Aristotle) – “never take any action which is not honest, open, and truthful, and which you would not be proud to see reported widely in newspapers or on television.”

2. Religious injunctions (St. Augustine) – “never take any action that is not kind, and that does not build a sense of community, a sense of all of us working together for a commonly acceptable goal.”

3. Utilitarian benefits (Betham and Mill) – “never take any action that does not result in greater good than harm for society.”

4. Universal rules (Kant) – “never take any action that you would not be willing to see others take in a similar situation.”

5. Distributive justice (Rawls) – “never any action that harms the powerless.”

6. Contributive theory (Nozick) – “never take any action that would interfere with the rights of others for self development and self-improvement.”

For an action to have ethical considerations, the individual must be acting rightly when he/she would benefit from acting "wrongly". If its in one's self interest to act rightly, its an "economic" decision, not an ethical one.

Ethical dilemma exists when an action is supported by one of these principles but violates one of the other principles.

Culture consists of the values and norms of the "society". While unspoken, they are powerful influences on behavior. However, norms and values are preferences and have no moral basis. They simply have developed over time to reflect what the "society" deems important and expected. Cultures affect how formal communications may be or how people dress. Culture affects how 'society" views time, age, women, power, the individual, etc.

In the world's system (the Bible calls the flesh or carnal mindedness) culture, ethics and laws provide a hierarchical basis by which members of the "society" exchange behavior for favor. As stated in earlier posts, these governance structures present obligations determining who and what is good and right and form control systems that engender the legalistic dimension of Social Exchange.

Contrast this with the Kingdom of Heaven (Matt 5 - 7). Here we find that yes, laws exist, but for a different purpose. God's Law does not obligate us to Him and is NOT a mechanism by which we gain His favor. Remember, our behavior is sourced in Thanksgiving, not duty. 

He established His laws for two primary purposes. One, God's Law spells out how things work best. There are physical laws that determine how the Universe works and how our bodies work. We can depend on them and act accordingly. Other laws reflect how relationships work best and what we can depend on when we give agape love from the love we have received from God. As with ethical dilemma, God's laws can seem confusing. "Thou shalt not kill." What do we do when our family is threatened by a violent intruder? How do we explain war? Often loving someone can result in "hurting" someone else.

The second purpose of the law as outlined by Paul in Romans is that God's law shows us our sin and thus our need for a Savior. That is, God shows us in His laws that His standard is impossible for us to attain on our own. The more we see our sin relative to God's standard, the more we praise Him for His redemptive love. In this case "being good" is not a result of what we do, but who we are!!!
While culture, ethics and laws are necessary for civil order, they are not necessary for gaining favor, unless the only favor that matters to you is from your fellow man!!

Something to ponder ......

the two faces of sense-making: a Thanksgiving perspective

"sense-making" - the cognitive activity of understanding our self and the world around us

TWO types of cognition


"Carnal mind" - our natural way of thinking as a human being (Bible calls "the flesh")
 based on Social Exchange, which explains that human understanding is constrained by the "norm of reciprocity" - the force that holds relationships together is the value that passes between them. Similarly humans are "obsessed" with fairness and Equity Theory suggests that a person must maintain equilibrium between what we receive and what we give based on some standard of fairness within the individual's frame of reference.
Thus, we give with an expectation of getting and we receive with an obligation to give back
Expectation "tees up" hurt feelings, sadness, and anger. Obligation fosters guilt and legalism.
Sense-making flows from circumstances - what is experienced through our physical senses.

"Kingdom mind" - this is a way of thinking made available to us when we are transformed by redemptive work of the Cross (Bible calls "the spirit")
based on Grace - God's acting on our behalf because we could and would not
Thus, we give with no expectation of receiving and we receive with no obligation to give back OR we give and receive out of thanksgiving for the grace that has been bestowed on us.
Sense-making flows from faith in the invisible and eternal sovereign work of God through His son Jesus that puts us in "harmony with the Heavenlies".

THIS GIFT of GRACE IS WHAT WE SHOULD BE "MINDFUL" OF THIS AND EVERY THANKSGIVING!!!

"flailing away with chaotic purpose"

Recently I was chatting with some students who asked me how I stand before them week after week lecturing without notes and seldom referring to the power point slides showing on the screen behind me. I found myself explaining the results of sharing with others the passion that resides inside us. I was linking this to what can happen for them when they pursue life activities (work, hobbies, relationships, etc.) from intrinsic motivation - the effort we put toward behaviors that bring us enjoyment, meaning and purpose. The phrase "flailing away with chaotic purpose" just seemed to flow from me as a way to express what I do as I play out what God has put in me.

This phrase is profound in that it captures the two aspects of the "purpose driven life."

One interesting point is that our purpose will likely produce chaos for us and those who love us. That is, we should not expect our actions to look "normal" to others. Why would I say this? Norms are behaviors that represent what some collective (such as a society, an organization, a family, etc.) has decided is acceptable and expected. By definition this forms a criteria for conformity of conduct EXTERNAL to each individual. Since each individual has been designed uniquely, these norms have to conflict at some  point with the intrinsics of each individual. Thus, the desire of an individual to be accepted by the collective influences he/she to suppress the behavior that may otherwise flow freely from their intrinsic purpose. While norms help maintain order, identity, and sense-making regarding the collective, they make our intrinsically motivated behaviors look "crazy" or "chaotic" rather than "orderly" to those around us.

For example, when a person chooses a path (e.g., vocation, marriage, recreation) that doesn't match the perspective others have for them, then often the person foregoes their "dream" to comply with the expectations of others. In the movie "Rudy" the main character was expected to graduate high school, work in the local factory, get married and buy a house. His dream to play football at Notre Dame was suppressed for 22 years. When Rudy decided to pursue his dream, he was seen as "crazy" by his family and friends and his life looked chaotic to them. A former student and friend Amy K decided in her late 30's she could no longer follow the path defined for her by "the world around her". She had to (compelled to) pursue her dream to "prosecute the bad guys." This seems crazy to her family and friends and introduced a form of "chaos" into her life when she changed course and entered law school.

The second point found in this phrase is "flailing away" represents the passion that is "by definition" associated with "playing out what has been put in us." Anything that is "fully us" will stimulate great desires. Passion is "that which propels us through obstacles as if they are not there in the quest for the object of our love" (Dudley Hall). We all deeply love our purpose. I call this the "itches of our soul" and we must scratch itches, we can't not do it (south Ala meaning of the word "compelled). The interesting thing about passion is that it draws others to us, it is contagious. It is appealing and brings others along with us on our journey.

Therefore, the reason this saying, "flailing away with chaotic purpose" is so profound is because it captures both sides of the coin of the "purpose driven life" in one simple thought. While pursuing our purpose is where our joy is found (that's why we use energy to "flail away") and it draws others to us, this pursuit at the same time causes conflicts with the expectations of others and creates risk for us of being accepted. Its in the social exchange of conforming to norms and expectations in order to be "loved" that we squash the joy of our purpose. God's plan for us is to be so secure in His love for us that we can be free to play out what He put in us.  

To live out our purpose and to find the joy that has been set before us, we must face head on (like Rudy and Amy K) the headwinds of norms. May we all have the courage, no matter our age, to "flail away with chaotic purpose." The consequences are Eternal.  Something to ponder .......

making sense of "I just want to be a good person"

I often hear people say, "I really just want to be a good person." Of course there is nothing wrong in and of itself about wanting to do the right things, but there is a lack of understanding what this really means. To the carnal mind (our natural way of thinking that is based on reciprocity), what we are really saying is that I wish to behave in a way people will think well of me. So, in a sense this is a perspective of ourself which says that if I do things a certain way ("be good"), then I will receive from the world around me the consideration and identity I wish to have. In other words I will "be good" for the social standing I desire to obtain and maintain (social exchange). This is the essence of morality. I am not cynical of human nature, just repeating what God says about us in our "flesh".

The story of the rich young ruler is a perfect example. Here a man goes even farther and wishes to do what is necessary to be right with God and the world around him. When he refers to Jesus as "good teacher", Jesus responds "no one is good but God." In other words "good" is the very essence of God Himself. God imputes "goodness" on us from His very being. It is nothing we can extract out of the world's system. The rich young ruler must relinquish all sense of doing the right things and relying on his self sufficiency ("sell all he has and give it away"). He must let go of the notion that "becoming right with God" is based on what he does "right".

Grace, not exchange, is the source of our goodness. It is freely given to us by God as we lay down our carnal mind for a Kingdom mind, as we cease self gratification and revere His glory. Being good is not about morality. It is the transformed nature of all who trust God for our well being and believe He is the author of who we are, not the world around us.

So the next time you think, "I just want to be a good little boy (or girl)", are you settling for what the world can give you for your moral behavior or are you desiring to be transformed by the power of grace????  I know what God wants for you >>>

"ahhh" in the midst of "ugh"

I have posted before how we find Grace in the midst of our "ugh's", BUT we also find grace in the midst of our "ahhh's". Today, late afternoon golf in the midst of God's creative beauty made me stop in awe of how God blesses my soul, no matter how weary I may be. While we don't measure blessing by our circumstances, there is beauty in our surroundings that reminds us God is always smiling on His children. Thank U God !!!!

making sense of "this doesn't make sense"

            

Often life throws us twist and turns that make no sense to us. Situations arise and people treat us in ways we just can't figure out. Sense-making is as basic to human nature as breathing is to our body. Because its so ingrained in our nature it is fundamental to the carnal mind, which strives to make sense of ourself and the world around us through the lenses of self gratification.

This leaves us with two problems. The first is that the only "data" we have for sense-making is what we visibly see, hear, touch, and smell. Circumstantial evidence is the basis for the carnal mind's activities called understanding. The second issue is that the lenses (perceptors) we use are dysfunctional. At a minimum our perceptions are filtered and biased. Moreover, our distortions of the circumstance are different than everyone else's. Thus, sense-making via the carnal mind when the world is not treating us as we would like leaves us frustrated, fearful, disappointed, shameful, unworthy, depressed, etc.

However, those whose life has been transformed by the Cross can make sense of themselves and the world around them via a Kingdom mind. Remember, the Kingdom mind understands through the lenses of faith. That is, the Kingdom mind trusts that God is active in our lives and that the evidence of what is really happening is what He says about us and Himself. Paul says it this way, "we fix our eyes not on what is seen but what is unseen, for what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternal." (II Corinthians 4)

What does this look like in practice? When someone attacks us and won't explain, when situations work against our wishes and we have "done everything right," when we trust someone deeply and they trash our heart, and so on ... what should be our response. The Kingdom mind informs us that God cares about us (I Peter 5), He is working out all things for good (Romans 8), He is working in us both to will and do for HIS good pleasure (Philippians 2), and so forth. A good question to ask ourself when we are experiencing such headwinds in life is, "what does God really want for us? how does He view our well-being?"

The answer is sobering. We desire to be in control, self-sufficient, and demand our rights - God's will is that we rest in Him, depend on Him, trust in His provision and see all of this as our privilege. The truth is God is all powerful, He is having His way with us because He loves us, and no matter what it looks like, its for our good!! In this we can understand all circumstances in our life and we do not ever have to angst over the feeling "this doesn't make sense!"

certainly worth pondering ........

My friend Art

My friend Art passed away today after nearly two years of battling pancreatic cancer. He was still playing a little golf a few weeks ago. He was a lovely man, no one ever spoke an unkind word about Art. He was an engineer from Illinois. Spent most of his career in the oil business. He was organized to the hilt and everything was viewed through "critical" eyes of cause and effect.

He grew up in a Christian home and made his home as Godly as he could. He must have done somethings right because his kids and grand kids anchor their lives in Christ. Art was the most active member of the men's Bible study I taught several years ago in our community. By active, I don't just mean attendance, but he probed every teaching, testing every thought and concept. He was well into his 60's, been in church all his life, but never engaged a serious Bible study, never owned his own bible. He actually had an aversion to this sort of group thing, religion had been a private thing for Art, but now was different for him for some reason.

He was drawn to Scripture. His eyes were opened to God's eyes. His life begin to transform, his mind moved from carnal to Kingdom Spiritual). His relationship with his adult children began to change. His wife and family saw this transformation right before their eyes. He found joy he had never seen before. He read scripture with an understanding he never had before. He was quick and eager to tell of the joy he found in knowing Jesus.

THEN, Christmas 2009 he got the word about his cancer. Of course he and his family were devastated. News you have cancer is a horrible thing to hear, especially pancreatic. But it was Art who lifted them all up with hope and eyes toward God. His new understanding of God had built in Him a faith that transcended circumstances. He lived the last months (about 22) as a testimony to all in our community of the Grace set before him. He was the one who made others comfortable with his condition. The carnally minded around us were amazed!! Art did not focus on what to do about dying with cancer, but he always sought, "how must I now live?"

What set out as just another attempt at a men's Bible study, prepared Art for Glory. There are no accidents in God's economy. The angels are welcoming Art into his eternal home and I know Art recognized them all for he had seen Glory already through the eyes of faith. What a privilege we have to partner with God in what He is doing, even when we think we are just doing ordinary things.

May we all be as blessed as my friend Art!! 

"Here come the judge!"

Most of us are taught that judging is something we shouldn't do. We often rely on the scripture "Judge not, that you not be judged" to constrain our tendency to be judgmental. However, maybe the issue is not whether we judge but through what "mind" we judge, carnal or Kingdom. Taken at face value, we cannot operate in life without making judgments. After all, to judge simple means to "decide upon something critically."

We say, "you can't judge a book by its cover." That is, we must look thoroughly into a matter or action in order to determine if it is right or wrong, good or bad. Well, if we cannot actually refrain from making judgments, on what basis are we "to judge," especially when we are judging others? Jesus anticipates this when He says, "and with the measure you judge it will be measured to you." Maybe the trick to judging is in the idea of the "measure," which is the instrument by which we critique.

We find some insight into this matter when Jesus said, "the one who speaks on his own authority seeks his own glory" (John 7). What does it mean for a person to seek their own glory? This starts with protecting oneself from what others think, exalting oneself over another, a form of self-righteousness. However, "seeking one's own glory" goes further. Judging another ultimately results in casting he/she into shame.  Since "speaking on one's own authority" is basically judging from a carnal mind (the measure), we might say that when we judge others as a means to glorify self, we seek to shame the target of our judgment.

Interestingly, it is our shame that put Jesus on the cross and it is the cross that eliminates our shame. Oh, so the Kingdom mind (a better measure) tells us that when we critically view others through the eyes of the Cross (Grace), then God will use our actions to transform and to restore the target of our judgment, not shame them.

Good idea and something worth pondering ....

making sense of ideas?

This was recently said about Steve Jobs

"I think he better than anyone understood that while ideas ultimately can be so powerful, they begin as fragile, barely formed thoughts, so easily missed, so easily compromised, so easily just squished."

Have you ever wondered where ideas come from? Scholars who study CREATIVITY believe that they are formed in our subconscious where divergent thinking can flourish, then converge and "come out" when we are able to be quiet and reflect. During these times our subconscious can inform our conscious and an idea emerges to us for use in our thinking. This may explain why we can wake up at 3 or 4am with a thought that is our best thought of the day. Through sleeping, our conscious mind quietens and thoughts that were generated in our subconscious "seep out". This particularly happens for me when I have an "active mind", that is I am working on a complex problem, research paper, or anxious about the coming day.

However, where does the subconscious get its "material" for ideas? No one really knows this. The carnal mind would probably say that one person is more "gifted" in creativity than another and it is just a human ability. This may be so, but it still does not explain the creation of a thought - something coming from nothing.

The Kingdom mind tells us that God is the Creator. He is the only One with the ability to produce something from nothing. He is the source of life. Ideas are life and have power. So when I get an idea, maybe through this subconscious-conscious linkage, I smile and say "Thank You God." When I get a thought, I do not assume I did it, but that God gave it to me. I believe this is one form of His Grace.

When asked about God, Steve Jobs said (and I am paraphrasing) - I think about Him some, more after I got sick. I think there is 50-50 chance there is a God. I would like to think there is something after this life, but life could be like an on-off switch. I don't like the idea of on-off switches so i don't put them on my computers.

Even if S Jobs and many others like him do not have a good IDEA about God, somehow it got squished along the way, God's common Grace provided him with ability and the ideas that blessed him and the world in many, many ways. 

Why didn't God give Jobs a better idea about Himself (God)? Why are the ideas about God transforming and powerful for some and not others?  
GOD ONLY KNOWS!!!

"Easy come, easy go"

            
Like many development communities around the country, The Cliffs is undergoing some financial stress due to the economic downturn and credit crunch. This has led to much uncertainty and accompanying anxiety among the residents and club members. Its interesting to see the reactions of those who have much of their life's savings in their home and club membership. There are those who are cynical of everyone who offers a solution. These believe everyone "out there" is after their "pile." They are cynical because they believe people in power will ultimately act in their own self interest when decisions are made. But more importantly, this cynicism is based on the notion of who owns the "pile". This belief goes to the heart of stewardship.

The carnal mind believes that what we have accumulated belongs to us. This notion assumes we "possess" things. If we believe we own things and it has been us who has worked to accumulate them, then we will see others as predators of our "pile." These people are angry and suspicious and are destroying relationships with friends and neighbors. This is the same mind set we see in many elderly people as they approach death. They start seeing others, especially their kids, as predators to their "pile," and family relationships become strained.

The Kingdom mind starts with the notion that God owns all things, they flow to us from God's Grace, and what we have has been given to us to caretake for God as He directs us. Instead of "possessing", we are stewards. We don't own anything. We move His things around as He pleases. This keeps our hands open and out-reaching and results in more of an "easy come, easy go" mindset that allows us freedom from the bondage of our stuff. Relationships are enhanced, not strained.

Isn't that what God desires of us anyway?  Something to ponder ....

making sense of "ugh!!"

                   

When the girls were teens and life was not going as they wanted, their favorite phrase was, "life is doo-doo!!" Adults do not escape life's messes, but we are a bit more sophisticated and say things like, "ugh!!"

From a carnal mind "ugh" means that social exchange is not working for us. Somehow we are not able to get from the world around us what we want to meet our needs. So we give up (depression) or we get more self focused and try harder to extract from others what we want (self-serving).

From a Kingdom mind, "ugh" reminds us we are not self-sufficient and we should immediately hear (following our "ugh") these words from our Father, "my Grace is sufficient."

Thus, when we are harmony with the Kingdom, "ugh" is actually a blessing!!  Imagine that ....

Making sense of conflict

Many people see themselves as "conflict avoiders." They believe that conflict is a negative state and we should structure our lives to avoid it. However, the study of conflict has produced a perspective of value in conflict. How can people at odds with each other ever be good?

The source of some conflict is natural. That is, in business we know that while a company wants inventory levels to be lower and service levels to customers higher, when we reduce inventory we likely negatively impact service level. Sales people would like to be able to customize products for their customers to increase sales. However, flexibility in product features increase the cost of manufacturing. Thus, just the physical design of of world carries with it conflict. This must mean that our goal can not be to avoid it, but to effectively make sense of it so that we manage it well.

Another source of conflict is what I call idiosyncratic. That is, conflict exists because of differences in people, such as values, personality, needs, etc. The husband has no problem buying a set of new golf clubs, but cringes at the thought of a new dining room suit or "bed ensemble". The husband wants to sit quietly and read the paper while the wife wants to talk. Why did God create man and woman so different and then say "go have the most intimate relationship humans can have"? Why is marriage NOT between golfing buddies or  garden club ladies?

Why would God create things this way, so different but so interdependent? While we may not know why, we do know He did. We pray "give us this day our daily bread." How does this happen? Occasionally God did just shower down manna from heaven to feed His people. However, His main plan is that He gives to each person a calling, a vocation, from which the world's sustenance comes. But how, God distributes His gifts through each part of the food chain, the health care chain, the public safety chain, the family, the church, and so on. Each person exercising his/her gifts in interdependency with one another gives each person their "daily bread". This is what Martin Luther called "the mask of God." God showers His blessings on His creation behind the scenes of people playing out what He has put in them. Thus, we are all dependent on God for our vocation and then dependent each to the other to faithfully carry out that calling.

Conflict then is the mechanism God uses to keep us from believing we are an island and can go it alone. Conflict gets us out of our self centeredness and self sufficiency (both enemies of our relationship with God) to see that we are called to serve others with our calling. Conflict provides us a constant reminder that in our interdependence human needs are satisfied and God is glorified.

Making sense of conflict with a Kingdom mind helps keep us in harmony with the Heavenlies (remember, that is one way to make sense of righteousness)!!

Life as an "amputee"

Some people have lost a hand, foot, arm or leg through war, accidents, or disease. Beyond the physical limitations such severe loss carries with it grief. Others may have physical appearance and activity constrained by paralysis. They too experience grief from severe loss. I have have not walked in these shoes but I do understand that while what is lost is apparent to others through some form of physical abnormality, grief is the UNSEEN psychological recognition of loss that also accompanies the obvious. This isn't so apparent. Loss of self image, esteem, purpose, and enjoyment of some offerings of life affect those who experience physical "deformity".

However, grief is not limited to the loss resulting from some physical constraint. Loss of a relationship carries with it just as much of a sense of loss. Relationships are loss through death but also through rejection. When we lose a relationship, we are likewise subject to the impact on our self concepts and life's enjoyments. In the loss of someone we love and depend on in some way for our well being, we become like the "amputee" in many ways. Psychological pain from grief is similarly as traumatic as loss of function.

When we grieve, we go through stages, such as
1. denial
2. emotional pain (maybe even guilt)
3. anger
4. "depression" (feelings of loneliness and hopelessness)
5. restoration
6. reconstruction
7. acceptance and hope

The time it takes to move through these stages varies by person and situation. However, when someone comes along beside us to encourage us, we usually get the words "you just need to move on with your life." While such encouragement is usually well meaning, it doesn't seem applicable until about stage 6 or 7. Do we really help the person in grief with that kind of encouragement when they are still in the early stages? Do we further our own pain as one grieving when we think that we are just supposed to be able to do just that, "move on with our life", when we are still stuck in stage 1,2, or 3? We need to remember to be patient with others and with ourselves as grief must work through the stages.

One other point - even when we complete all the stages of grief, does that eliminate the loss? No, we are still an "amputee". While we may overcome the effects of loss on our self concepts and find other activities of life we can enjoy, we still have the loss of the physical function or person in our life. Its OK to be sad about our loss even when we are restored, reconstructed, and hope for the future has returned. The encouragement from others can compel us on but its still OK to remember and rejoice over what was.

The older we get, the more personal losses make up who we are and the more likely we are to live the life of an "amputee". I think that is why maturing in Christ means the power of Grace has taken care of a lot of grief :-)

"It's the Real Thing"

I spent 12 years in the Coca-Cola system from late 80's thru the 90's. These were real glory years for Coke. Much of this time their main advertising them was "It's the Real Thing". Obviously Coca-Cola Company believed that people wanted to connect with what is real. I hate to disappoint anyone, but Coke is not it :-)

Jesus says in John 17:3, "and this is eternal life, that you know the only true God and Jesus Christ whom He sent." The word "know" does not mean "know of" or "know about" but was applied to knowledge that comes from sexual intercourse and literally means deep intimacy. The notion of eternal life does not mainly refer to everlasting (although it is), it really refers to the life that is real for our soul - that which makes our soul alive? The Greek word is zoe and means God's life. It is intimacy (deep level of experiencing) with God and with special people in our life that is the real thing!!


So what does this mean to us? This truth taught me that the only reality is that which is lived out in relationships. I found that tasks, jobs, careers, family, friends, neighborhood, etc. are all just the context in which we find ourself in relationships with others. No matter what our achievements, popularity, status, or wealth, when we lie down at night to go to sleep, the quality of our key relationships seems all that matters. One of my regrets is that I did not know my parents in this way and my life has lost something because of it.


I adopted a principle I think about a lot which goes like this, "the point is not the point, the person is the point." I admit I fail miserably at remembering and applying this. When I started teaching, I really wanted to do this with students. I still find myself focusing on my lecture, the schedule deadlines necessary to complete all the material in a semester, student disruptions, etc. and miss many opportunities to relate to those God placed right in front of me.


I had no idea abut this truth as a young man. I was an especially focused task person. I left "road kill" all over the place. I "destroyed" people in relationships because I didn't even notice that the relationship with the person was where life is really lived. I know better now BUT oh my, do I still need the power of Grace!!!!  It's possible you do too .....

Strength or weakness??

        

As I have reflected over my life to make sense of who I am and what I do, I realize that regardless of the context (business organization, church, as a professor, father, husband, friend), I seem to need to help others make sense of themselves and their world around them. I call this "helping others get rid of their stinking thinking." Like the cartoon, it feels like "my solemn duty to stamp out ignorance" and in many ways it has fueled much of my success.

Helping people make sense of important concepts that are complex and usually misunderstood appears to be God's calling on my life. I know some organizations and many people have been helped in significant ways by my instruction and mentoring. For this I am thankful and humbled.

What I (and all of us) must realize, however, is that what God has given me for good can also have a dark side. The gift itself is neither good nor bad, but how I use it. When I have used my gift to bolster my pride, gain power over another, or to defend myself against attacks, I am outside of God's will, this is sin, and the outcome for me is not good. Usually this takes the form of insensitivity and arrogance. This restricts the   intimacy and trust that produces joy in relationships. It drives wedges between me and others.

God, please give me the power of Your Grace to use my gifts with a Kingdom mind and when I don't, forgive me!!

Daddy, come dance with me!!

She says to her dad "turn the radio up, that's my favorite song." The 9 year old little girl then gets out of the parked car, walks out into the grass, looks back at her dad, with an infectious grin, says "daddy, come dance with me." While the dad is certainly touched by her request, he's too "adult" to do such a silly thing. Everyone's watching and he doesn't like to dance. So he sits and watches her twirl as if he is holding her and leading her around the dance floor. Then, one day soon she is gone. Taken from the father suddenly in an accident. His heart is broken for his chance to dance with her is no longer.

The son prepares to run late one afternoon as he has grown accustomed to do. He turns to his dad and says "daddy, come run with me." The dad doesn't like to run. He feels too old and out of shape. The father wishes his son would do with him the things he wants to do. The father expects the relationship to be on his terms. The son drifts away from his father, nobody seems to care anymore about the other.

Dealing with the physical loss of his daughter and the emotional loss of his son, the father seeks God for what he should be as a father. After all, to the world he seemed to be doing a good job, but he knew in his heart he was not the man or father God wanted him to be.

The lessons he learned and the message to us:
For the daughter: daddy, win your little girl's heart so that one day she will desire to give her love to the man who God chose to love her as Christ loves the church.
For the son: daddy, release in your son the man God designed him to be so that he one day knows how to be God's man for his family.

I saw the movie "Courageous" last night. While I do not want to spoil the plot for you, the point is timeless, but very timely for a lost and dying world. God created fathers to stand in the gap of spiritual warfare for the family and to point his children one day to the Heavenly Father.

We are in a time when life's struggles "beats" down the dad. Wives lose respect for their husband and husbands begin to resent their wife. In the midst of the hurt they cause each other, the children lose. I have seen fathers, who confess to be a Christian, self-righteously turn their children against their mother because the wife destroyed the man's ego. This is so sad. Josh McDowell once said, "the greatest gift a father can give his children is to love their mother."

While God can heal and transform and restore the lives of those whose fathers have failed them, life works best for all children-to-adult transitions when Daddy stands courageously against all odds for his family.

Dads, dance with your daughters, run with your sons. Invade their world, embrace who they are> After all, isn't that the Grace we received to live out and pass on???

me and my daughter :-)

"Please take it, it is freely given"

I was talking with a friend recently and he shared with me that he has spent years living with a broken heart. The person he believed he was created to love would not receive his heart. He believed he would have given his life that she might prosper. He pleaded "please take it, its freely given!" He was not sure whether she did not want to be obligated by his love, or felt she was not worthy, or whether she felt guilt or shame. He wasn't sure because she would not discuss it with him. This left him lonely in his own imagination.   @akw

As we talked about this from the Kingdom mind vs. the carnal mind, insights emerged that encouraged our soul, while we knew the human experience was difficult. What became salient to us was that this is a glimmer of how we respond to God. He has sold out to us by giving the ultimate gift of love, His son. He pleads with us, "please take it, it is freely given!" While He is patient with us we dilly dally with His love, failing to receive it, to be transformed by it, for many of the same reasons my friend's heart was rejected. This must hurt God very much. He wants our fellowship, He delights in us. Our push back on His love, failing to receive it, is to our detriment. His love is steadfast.

When we see life through eyes of GRACE, we always see His heart and are drawn closer to Him. I think that's why we are told to "count it joy in our trials." Every circumstance, especially the tough ones, is an opportunity to learn to love as God loves us, that's why all things work for good for those who are called by His name!!
YES !!

making sense of faith

I have posted a number of blogs that develop the notion that faith is the sense-making mechanism of the Kingdom mind. That is, faith helps us make sense of our self and the world around us through trusting God's perspective. However, many of us struggle with making sense of faith itself. I know I do. By definition, faith is the assurance of things not seen. Faith does not prove itself through assessing our circumstances. Typical rational thinking does not help us with knowing about our faith. It actually works against "without hope, in hope believed" (Romans 4).

People don't think about this much. Many may not struggle with the question: when is walking "not by sight" really faith and when is it simply delusional? One reason may be how little we really depend on faith rather than our trusted "cause and effect" conclusions based on tangible evidence. I had a Christian friend who would regularly say, "I am a functional atheist." By this he meant he rarely trusted what God had to say and what He had done, but was easily swayed by how things looked to him.

I know the older I get and the more I try to hear God, the less my life fits cultural norms. So when I sense I am called to trust God, things may look a little bizarre. Its easy for carnally minded people to accuse those who are walking by faith as being Pollyanna (only seeing the good) or delusional (only seeing what they want to see) because faith is not born out by circumstantial evidence and legalistic behavioral prescriptions. This reminds me of a cat we used to have. Instead of hiding herself away she would cover her eyes as if to say, "if I can't see you then you can't see me." In other words is faith trusting in the unseen or simply refusing to see reality? Are we rationalizing or are we hearing God?

How DO WE KNOW our actions are of faith?

The account of early Christians may give is us some insight (Acts 4). The Apostles were viewed by the mainstream as trouble makers. They were threatened and told to quit spreading the message of the resurrection of Jesus. Their response included some ideas that may helps us understand when we are walking in faith against the norms of our day.
1.  They claimed they were compelled to act. (South Ala meaning of compelled, "can't not do it").
2.  They reminded themselves that God is Sovereign.
3.  They pointed out that even the Cross was purposed by God.
4.  They recognized they had no power of their own.
5.  They were bold in their actions.
6.  As a result, Grace covered their heart.

Maybe this helps some, but on this one, I find myself still pondering .....

"Just keep the faith"

All of us have found our self at times when our situation is not meeting our aspiration, sometimes by a lot. Whether it is related to finances, our relationships, our health, our goals, etc., well meaning people come along beside us and say, "just keep the faith." Now, they are well meaning, but what do they really mean?

The carnal mind makes sense of this encouragement by assuming that if we keep trying, keep persevering, then we can finally get the outcome we want. Our culture reinforces this with movies like "Rudy", whose theme is "one can have their dream if they just keep after it, don't ever give up." While there is nothing wrong with trying hard (the Bible tells us to persevere), its just this relationship between us trying hard and ultimately landing our dream is a lie of the world's system. In reality Rudy did not reach his dream through his own efforts and just keeping the faith. Others had to act on his behalf because he was not skilled enough to accomplish his dream (playing football at Notre Dame). The fallacy in the carnal mind with "just keep the faith" is the assumption the power is in our faith in our self and/or in others.

The Kingdom mind informs us that the power of faith is in the object of the faith. For example, if we wish to walk out on a frozen pond, what determines whether we sink or not is not how much we believe the pond is frozen but the actual degree to which IT IS FROZEN. While we are told to act in faith, (1) the faith we have was first given to us by God and (2) the validity of the faith is in the object of the faith, not the strength of the faith holder. God desires our well being, but that is not defined by us or our circumstances. He is always working in us for His good pleasure (Philippians 2). He determines what is good, not our dreams. In fact our prayer should be that He give us our dream and then we can be assured we will ultimately receive it. In the final analysis God's "dream" for us is to live a life that trusts in Him, not our circumstances for our well being.

This is really GOOD NEWS in that none of us can hold our circumstances together forever, even if they seemed perfect for us.  So when someone comes along side of you and says, "just keep the faith," let your mind go to the One who is faithful, smile, and say, "He does!!!!"

Certainly something worth pondering ....

The Excellent Life

                        
                                    making our self the agenda is not a very good agenda 

A long time ago a high achiever discovered that the Kingdom perspective of one's resume was a more excellent way to understand one's self than a carnal view. Faith in Christ for his well being was far better than a life full of great accomplishments (Philippians 3).

He used Jesus as the "Prime A" example when he reminded us that Jesus "emptied Himself of the privilege to be God" (Philippians 2) and did some things for us we did not even ask Him to do. In fact, because of the carnal mind, many people even now reject (cannot receive) this thing Jesus did for us simply because He loved us.

When Jesus walked on earth He said "no greater love hath a man than he lay down his life for his friend." The notion of "lay down one's life" literally means "set aside one's agenda". While most of us will never find our self physically dying for someone else (the way we tend to view this scripture), we all have our agenda that we seem to place ahead of others (that is why disruptions frustrate us so much). Maybe "laying down our life for another" can be more practical for us if we focus on how much keeping our agenda is our priority and stands in our way of loving others.

Carnal mind - make our "pile" (what we have & what we have done) as big as we can, make sure we meet our needs first, play it safe, and "look good" to the world around us.
Kingdom mind - see that setting aside our agenda in loving another is a more excellent life than making our "pile" high, getting our needs met, avoiding risks, and being esteemed by others.

Certainly something worth pondering ....

kicking fear out of "the driver's seat"

A dear friend of mine posted this jewel of wisdom from a contemporary "philosopher".


"Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away” ~Sarah Jessica Parker

While it is doubtful SJP has a Kingdom mind and thus insight into God's truths, ALL truth is God's truth and there may be some truth in this "philosophy". Generally, fear is the consequence of not wanting the shame or blame associated with making a mistake. Thus, fear constrains our willingness to move out in the midst of uncertainty. BUT God calls us to walk in faith, which by definition is an assurance in the midst of uncertainty or when things look impossible ("in hope without hope believed" Abraham).

What is it we can be sure of so we can "move out" in faith and not be fearful? The Kingdom mind says we can be sure that God loves us and nothing can change that, he wants the best for us, he is in control, and His grace is sufficient (for all our well being).

I may be repeating this but one of my favorite scriptures (and one I read to my youngest daughter when she was a teen) is

"fear not little flock, for your heavenly Father has chosen gladly to give you His Kingdom."

While we do not purposefully go out and destroy our lives, we can move out knowing that we cannot!!!!   something to ponder ...

"Christ in me, the hope of Glory"

"she captured my heart and hearts became braided, then she trivialized me, demonized me, threatened me, and finally betrayed me, This was a devastating human experience, BUT I still love her because God gave me His love (agape) to give her and it has NO conditions."   @akw




Over the years I have heard many stories like this person's story. It is not uncommon. It illustrates the contrasts of minds (carnal vs Kingdom). Whether the "she" in this story is a person (woman or man) or something else we give our affections to (possessions, job, achievement, pleasure. etc.), the carnal mind seeks to exchange our affections for something that gives us significance (glory), BUT when our expectations are no longer met, we are highly disappointed, if not devastated and our well being is diminished.

Yet the Kingdom mind flows from grace where we trust that our significance comes only from the life we receive from Jesus, not what we can extract from the world's system. Further, the second part of this story illustrates that we don't even have any love of our own to give another person for "we love because God first loved us" (I John). Any agape love we have for another was first given to us to give to the other person, so what the other person does with it is not the issue for us. Its God's business.

My Kingdom mind tells me
"my life is not my own, it's been bought with a price .... it is no longer I who lives but Christ who lives in me."

The only assurance (hope) of our significance (glory) is that I have His!!!   I ponder this a lot, BUT ....
(oh, how that carnal mind is a menace!!)

the "monster" in me

                 

Occasionally throughout life our "flesh" (carnal mind) overwhelms us. We think we have "it" (life, our self, take your pick) figured out. We act as if we have it all together, we understand and accept God's grace and then we are surprised by the effect of someone else's actions on us.

How is it that someone else can call into question everything we pride our self in? Oh, that's it, we cannot get away from "priding our self"!! When someone else "makes a mockery" of my heart, its amazing how angry and destructive I can become. None of us are exempt from this, no matter how "spiritual" we become.

many believe that "people are basically good and sometimes do bad things." The bible says (paraphrasing) we are all capable of finding one day the "ugly truth", we are in bondage to the "monster in me". (kind of Romans 7 stuff)

This should be evidence enough that I need a Savior!!  Certainly, something worth pondering ....

making sense of courage

Courage is generally understood as action in the face of fear not acting without fear.

From a carnal mind we explain courage through motivation (a psychological process to direct our attentional resources). As such, courage occurs when the outcome of our 'courageous action' is more salient (relevant) or has more valence (value) than not acting.

From a Kingdom mind we explain courage as trusting our well being to Jesus. We believe that our action is a call on our lives (an unction of the Spirit) and that circumstances do not determine the nature of the outcome. We do not fear because fear is the antithesis of faith, which is a gift to us by His grace.

We know His grace is sufficient so we are 'courageous'. To God be the Glory .....

A tribute to my bro’ and his legacy of grace

Many gathered tonight to celebrate my brother Phil’s 60^th birthday. When a person is that age, we tend to focus more on legacy than potential. I wore pink to draw attention to his legacy of girls - Skissy, four daughters and now Paisley Grace. Looking back over his life, I think there was some early prophecy about Phil and girls. He’s the youngest of three brothers and was highly anticipated to bring the parents a daughter.  As a young child he had thick curly blond hair. One of our uncles used to kid him about being a Brownie Scout. However, as many boys do, when he reached school age, he was quite awkward looking, overweight, glasses, buck teeth. When first married, Skissy would put Phil’s school pics on the refrigerator as birth control and she would say, “I am never having children.” J

We grew up in Montgomery, Al where the culture strongly favored achievement and athletic prowess, especially football. Phil was one grade behind me, which made the contrast between my athletic and academic accomplishments and his even more apparent. I later found out from mother that instead of this difference being a problem for Phil, he would use the fact he was my brother to his advantage with his teachers and other students, particularly the girls.

I moved through life quickly, making things happen as fast as I could. I received my masters Degree four years from graduating high school. I am not sure how long it took Phil to “get through” Troy, but he wasn’t in a hurry. My youngest daughter was graduating from college when Phil’s youngest was born. One of my fondest memories was when Phil finally graduated from college he had not begun to look for a job. He returned home and spent his days on the couch watching TV. Mother would say to him every day, “you’ll never get a job laying here on the couch.” Well, after some days passed of more of the same, the phone rings (while Phil is on the couch). Mother calls, “it’s for you Phil.” Phil comes back from the call saying, “I got a job!” J

We both had spiritual awakening as adults, Phil’s occurred before mine giving him a special role in mine. This ultimately made us brothers in a special way beyond just biological brothers. Instead of being cynical about our differences, we admired the differences in each other. Phil would admit he wished he were more aggressive and risk taking (like me). I longed for the sweet spirit and patience that everyone saw in Phil. I remember visiting Phil when the girls were small, the quieting calm that permeated their home as he held the girls in his arms and sang to them. Later when they were older and we would get in the car to go some place, he and I would be in the car for 10 minutes or so ready to go before the girls would start appearing. They would come as they were ready and Phil would just patiently wait. Once all girls were in the car, I thought we would crank up and depart. No way, I looked at Phil and he would say, “one or more of the girls have forgotten something and will have to go back into the house before we could leave.” J

As with many of you, Phil has been a spiritual mentor for me. Years ago when life was beating me up pretty badly, Phil gave me some wisdom on marriage. He said, “God ordained the institution of marriage as His workshop to teach us to love Jesus and like Jesus. Everything that happens is to this end.”  This Kingdom perspective has transformed my life for many years. Although I have been jealous of one thing about Phil. God moved mightily in both of our lives. However, for me I was tossed to and fro and beat over the head by a 2x4 by God to come around. When Phil would share how God broke him, he just had to quit smoking. Somehow that didn’t seem fair.  J

While Phil may be more known for his legacy of girls, I have found looking back over his life that his real legacy is one of grace. When our older brother visited Phil a few months ago for the first time in many, many years, all he could talk about was the unique nature of Phil’s family. How they love, respect, and support each other and how much they love Phil. My response to him was, “it’s pure grace in motion, pure grace!!” 

Thank you God for using Phil to show us all a picture of Your Grace. 

Getting our feelings hurt - is this a sin?

My oldest grand daughter is really "on fire" for Jesus right now. She often posts scripture on FB that challenges people to "live for Jesus". Recently she posted the following verse form James
"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."  James 1: 19 - 20


My response to her (as is normal) was to consider that Jesus is more concerned with our heart than our behavior. I reminded her people are defiled from the inside out. I got a starry glazed look back :-)   To help her understand I used the following example:


I asked, "do you ever get your feelings hurt?" She replied, "of course, all the time." I then said, "have you ever thought that getting your feelings hurt is a sin?" She knew it was wrong to hurt others BUT she looked at me a bit cocked eyed on this question and I got the response I expected, "I don't understand." So, my explanation was as follows:


In order to get our feelings hurt we must have the right to get offended by another person. Is "our right to be offended" from a carnal or Kingdom mind? Did God stand on His right to be offended when Adam (and thus all mankind) turned against Him? No, He responded on OUR behalf to fix OUR problem (the Cross). Jesus explicitly says in Sermon of the Mount that the Kingdom of Heaven is like this - if someone makes you go 1 mile, go another (although they have no right to ask you to go but 1 mile). If someone asks for tunic, give them your cloak as well (although they only have a right to ask for your tunic).


Standing on our rights is carnal minded, thus sinful. Being in harmony with the Kingdom of Heaven (righteousness) involves being transformed by Grace. This means that the grace we have received removes from our heart the negative response to being offended by others. So while the James 1 passage is right in terms of our behavior, it fails to remind us that it is being in harmony with the Heavenlies that makes us righteous, not refraining from bad behavior.


My grand daughter often says, "just trust Jesus." I say, "for what?" No answer. I remind her that being in harmony with the Heavenlies is trusting Jesus for our well being. When that happens, then how can anyone else offend us? I hope my grand daughter gets this, but then it took me years to and I fail all the time. She's asking the right questions and headed in the right direction and that brings joy to a Pop's heart :-)

making sense of personality

Personality is the tendency to behave in a certain way. It has motivational tendencies embedded within and is aligned with our purpose, calling, giftedness (see post on 4/3 "Purpose, ambition, and calling"). Thus, one's personality is neither right or wrong, good or evil, it simply is how we are wired. Often people feel pride or shame over their personality. Neither is appropriate. Contrary to popular belief, personality is not what Scripture calls our flesh. Whether we are sinful or righteous depends upon our heart's disposition to worship and depend upon ourself or upon our faith in what God has said and done on our behalf. As discussed in earlier posts "flesh" denotes our carnal mind (seeking to exalt self) versus a Kingdom mind, which has been transformed by Grace.

We should celebrate our personality as God's blessing on us. When our heart is adoring and trusting Christ, our personality is guiding our behavior in a way that honors Him and fulfills us. Below is a description of my Myers Brigg personality type (INTP). Those of you that know me will see that this personality explains why I do what I do (including this Blog). When I am behaving consistent with this, my life flows well. When my heart is trusting God, my life's rhythm is Holy :-)

Same for each of you. Knowing your personality will free you to enjoy how God has blessed you to be a blessing ..... something to consider 4 sure!!

*******


INTP personality type (Myers Brigg)

They are the master designers of all kinds of theoretical systems, including school curricula, corporate strategies, and new technologies. For INTP’s, the world exists primarily to be analyzed, understood, explained - and re-designed. External reality in itself is unimportant, little more than raw material to be organized into structural models. What is important for INTP’s is that they grasp fundamental principles and natural laws, and that their designs are elegant, that is, efficient and coherent.

INTP’s are rare - maybe one percent of the population - and show the greatest precision in thought and speech of all the types. They tend to see distinctions and inconsistencies instantaneously, and can detect contradictions no matter when or where they were made. It is difficult for an INTP’s to listen to nonsense, even in a casual conversation, without pointing out the speaker's error. And in any serious discussion or debate INTP’s are devastating, their skill in framing arguments giving them an enormous advantage. INTP’s regard all discussions as a search for understanding, and believe their function is to eliminate inconsistencies, which can make communication with them an uncomfortable experience for many.

Ruthless pragmatists about ideas, and insatiably curious, INTP’s are driven to find the most efficient means to their ends, and they will learn in any manner and degree they can. They will listen to amateurs if their ideas are useful, and will ignore the experts if theirs are not. Authority derived from office, credential, or celebrity does not impress them. INTP’s are interested only in what make sense, and thus only statements that are consistent and coherent carry any weight with them.

INTP’s often seem difficult to know. They are inclined to be shy except with close friends, and their reserve is difficult to penetrate. Able to concentrate better than any other type, they prefer to work quietly at their computers or drafting tables, and often alone. INTP’s also become obsessed with analysis, and this can seem to shut others out. Once caught up in a thought process, INTP’s close off and persevere until they comprehend the issue in all its complexity. INTP’s prize intelligence, and with their grand desire to grasp the structure of the universe, they can seem arrogant and may show impatience with others who have less ability, or who are less driven.
               

making sense of our day and our destiny

"do not fear, little flock (that's us) for it is our Father's good pleasure to give you His kingdom"
 Luke 12:32


"Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk (that is, move about in life) according to their carnal mind but according to a Kingdom mind."
Romans 8:1


It is very good news that Grace controls our lives and our destiny. Anxiousness and fear only enter our day when we base confidence in self for our moments and our future!!      surely something to ponder .....

Hey parents, "get a grip", better yet, "let go"!!

As a young man I was driven by responsibility. The more I got, the better I performed. While this had its good points, as a parent it was not so good. When my son and daughter were young, their mother left us. Now this devastated me for a while and true to form, my response was to SEIZE the responsibility for my children's happiness, responsibility in over drive. While I continued to be messy in my adult relationships, I was a committed parent. What I did not realize was that my kids were being burdened by my well-being, which was driven by whether they were happy or not.

When God moved in my life in 1983 and opened my eyes spiritually, one thing that happened was freedom in my responsibility as a parent. Basically God said, "these are my children, not yours, I'll call you when I need you. Don't you know I love them more than you can ever imagine? Get a grip, let go!!" As my burden for their happiness was released to God and I could trust Him for that, the kids began to get freedom to be what God had designed them to be, without a burden for my happiness.

God used a great experience in their lives to demonstrate this to me. I desired that they have a "spiritual experience" somewhere in their youth or young adult life to draw on throughout their adult life. Mainly I thought about a youth retreat with some "mountain top" experience they could always point to. So I prayed and of course my prayer was so limiting.

Here's what happened over a course of a few years. A few years out of college my son was doing nicely in building his career. He calls one day and says, "dad, I want to take a year off and grow spiritually." What better words could a dad want to hear from his son. So my 'flesh' kicks in to try and use my influence to help him out, after all, I lived in Charlotte, NC - the mecca of Christian ministry. Before I could get very far, he calls and says he is going to spend a year traveling with Josh McDowell as his intern. I said, "wow, how did you do that?" He replied, "I just called him and asked." God then said to me, "see I told you I can handle this way better than you ever could imagine." Instead of a weekend retreat I thought would work well, he was spending a year traveling the world with Josh   :-)

Then there is my daughter. Oh my, how was she going to have that "spiritual experience"? In a totally different process than my vision for her spiritual growth, she was interested in studying in Spain. She was in college and majoring in Spanish. So we began to seek what opportunities existed there for language immersion. Before we could get very far, out of the blue came the opportunity to spend 4 months with YWAM at the Barcelona Olympic youth outreach ministry. Because she was proficient in the language, she immediately became a key person in the planning and support for bringing 2000 young Christians to Barcelona for the 2 weeks of the Olympics to witness in the barrios of Barcelona. Besides the months leading up to the outreach where she experienced the prayer life and miracles of YWAMer's, she spent 2 weeks translating for a South African team. God has such a sense of humor, a little Southern girl from Winthrop University translating the gospel message presented by South African young people in the ghettos of Barcelona. God went to some real extremes for me to get it, He is in control and i can just come along and enjoy His parenting.

So, parents, it's never too late to get a grip and LET GO -  something to ponder ....