Lessons from an orphan girl

While your social identity helps you form a sense of belonging, your personal identity is how you see yourself and the image you project to others. Here’s a simple story to illustrate personal identity and how it works within people’s perspective of what is true about themselves.

Once there was an orphan girl who lived in the slums of the city. She felt abandoned, was alone and had to find ways to feed and clothe herself from the garbage heaps around the town. One day the rich man who lived in the mansion on top of the hill above the city was moved with compassion for the orphan girl and chose to adopt her. Thus, she came to live with him in the mansion on top of the hill above the city. She had access to all new clothes and could feast at the rich man’s banquet table. However, while the girl knew she was adopted, she still felt like an orphan. She identified more with the street people than as a child of the rich man. She was more comfortable in the slums because she still saw herself as destitute. Instead of receiving the provisions and privileges of her new father, daily she would go back down into the city and look for food and clothes in the garbage. Although she had been given a new identity, she still viewed herself as an orphan.

So, here's a little test question, why do you think the girl could not feel, think and act as an adopted child of the kind rich man?

A.      She felt she did not deserve such favor from the rich man

B.      While she knew her new life was better, she felt more comfortable with her old life

C.      She saw her adoption as an obligation to the rich man rather than a privilege

D.      She desired to hang onto her old life rather than to receive the love of her new father
E.   She felt shame because she believes receiving gifts from the rich man is not fair to other orphans.

If you selected A, then your worldview may align with this perspective. Often we feel we do not deserve the good things that come our way, especially if we do not feel we earned them. Its amazing how humans have the tendency to feel guilty about good things happening in their life because they do not feel worthy of such favor.

If you selected B, then your worldview may align with this perspective.  Even when something new may be better for us, there is a natural tendency to stay with what we are comfortable. The certainty of our past provides us with a sense of security and comfort, even if the reality of our past suggests we really are not. Often what we know to be true does not motivate us as much as what we feel to be true.

If you selected C, then your worldview may align with this perspective. While the rich man wanted her to enjoy the blessings of being his child, she focused more on how her adoption would make her obligated to the rich man. Being indebted can seem to rob us of our freedom but as we see in this story, rejecting her adoption kept her from receiving his extravagant provisions. While it may be obvious to an outside observer that she would benefit greatly from the adoption, her view of the slums was more freeing to her. 
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If you selected D, then your worldview may align with this perspective. We can sometimes receive love and kindness from someone and not be drawn to them by a thankful heart. This can happen when we focus more on what we left behind or stay stuck in the self pity we had grown accustomed to. Often we are not thankful for what someone does for us because we are cynical of their motive and do not want to be obligated to them. Sometimes it is our pride of self sufficiency that keeps us apart from a father who wants to serve us. Any of these could be reasons the girl could not accept the generosity of her adoption.

If you selected E, then your worldview may align with this perspective. You can feel that receiving from a rich man when other orphans do not is wrong. This likely means that you see total resources as limited or fixed and so when you receive something good then someone else will have less. Many people with this worldview can feel shame or guilt when they receive more favor than others. The shame or guilt can make you feel like an outcast rather than to feel blessed by the generosity of someone who wishes to share their wealth with you.

The orphan girl’s identity or perception of herself apparently did not change just because she was adopted. Something stood between her old identity and the reality of her new one. This is a simple story, but has profound wisdom for you. Like the girl, you too have a story and from your story you receive a self image, but is it true or is it shaped by circumstances that create a false sense of identity? Like the girl in this story, one of your challenges is whether you have the view of your identity that is your true self. Exploring your personal identity and how it shapes your worldview and vice versa is a worthwhile exercise.

What you will find is that the obstacles we have from living in the fullness of provisions and privileges of our Heavenly Father is likely revealed in how we answered the question from the story of the orphan girl. For we too are spiritual orphans who have been adopted by the rich man who lives in a mansion on top of the hill.