"flailing away with chaotic purpose"

Recently I was chatting with some students who asked me how I stand before them week after week lecturing without notes and seldom referring to the power point slides showing on the screen behind me. I found myself explaining the results of sharing with others the passion that resides inside us. I was linking this to what can happen for them when they pursue life activities (work, hobbies, relationships, etc.) from intrinsic motivation - the effort we put toward behaviors that bring us enjoyment, meaning and purpose. The phrase "flailing away with chaotic purpose" just seemed to flow from me as a way to express what I do as I play out what God has put in me.

This phrase is profound in that it captures the two aspects of the "purpose driven life."

One interesting point is that our purpose will likely produce chaos for us and those who love us. That is, we should not expect our actions to look "normal" to others. Why would I say this? Norms are behaviors that represent what some collective (such as a society, an organization, a family, etc.) has decided is acceptable and expected. By definition this forms a criteria for conformity of conduct EXTERNAL to each individual. Since each individual has been designed uniquely, these norms have to conflict at some  point with the intrinsics of each individual. Thus, the desire of an individual to be accepted by the collective influences he/she to suppress the behavior that may otherwise flow freely from their intrinsic purpose. While norms help maintain order, identity, and sense-making regarding the collective, they make our intrinsically motivated behaviors look "crazy" or "chaotic" rather than "orderly" to those around us.

For example, when a person chooses a path (e.g., vocation, marriage, recreation) that doesn't match the perspective others have for them, then often the person foregoes their "dream" to comply with the expectations of others. In the movie "Rudy" the main character was expected to graduate high school, work in the local factory, get married and buy a house. His dream to play football at Notre Dame was suppressed for 22 years. When Rudy decided to pursue his dream, he was seen as "crazy" by his family and friends and his life looked chaotic to them. A former student and friend Amy K decided in her late 30's she could no longer follow the path defined for her by "the world around her". She had to (compelled to) pursue her dream to "prosecute the bad guys." This seems crazy to her family and friends and introduced a form of "chaos" into her life when she changed course and entered law school.

The second point found in this phrase is "flailing away" represents the passion that is "by definition" associated with "playing out what has been put in us." Anything that is "fully us" will stimulate great desires. Passion is "that which propels us through obstacles as if they are not there in the quest for the object of our love" (Dudley Hall). We all deeply love our purpose. I call this the "itches of our soul" and we must scratch itches, we can't not do it (south Ala meaning of the word "compelled). The interesting thing about passion is that it draws others to us, it is contagious. It is appealing and brings others along with us on our journey.

Therefore, the reason this saying, "flailing away with chaotic purpose" is so profound is because it captures both sides of the coin of the "purpose driven life" in one simple thought. While pursuing our purpose is where our joy is found (that's why we use energy to "flail away") and it draws others to us, this pursuit at the same time causes conflicts with the expectations of others and creates risk for us of being accepted. Its in the social exchange of conforming to norms and expectations in order to be "loved" that we squash the joy of our purpose. God's plan for us is to be so secure in His love for us that we can be free to play out what He put in us.  

To live out our purpose and to find the joy that has been set before us, we must face head on (like Rudy and Amy K) the headwinds of norms. May we all have the courage, no matter our age, to "flail away with chaotic purpose." The consequences are Eternal.  Something to ponder .......