None of us really like to find ourselves "lost". We diligently plan so that our journeys produce what we feel we want. Occasionally, in spite of best laid plans, we find ourselves somewhere else.
Recently a couple showed up at a local produce stand near our house. They declared, "we are lost, but we're glad." How can that be? Well, it seems they discovered a produce stand with all kinds of goodies they wanted. It appeared they bought some of everything offered and were delighted at their find. They never planned to go to this produce stand, didn't even know it existed, but were blessed by it even if they were "lost".
On our recent trip to Europe I had to plan several flights and hotels. I tried to reserve those that met our needs the best. The night before leaving for Budapest I received an email saying there was an issue with our reservation and that we had been relocated to a "comparable place." Upon arriving at the new location by taxi, we were astounded. Instead of being in the middle of Center City where I HAD PLANNED, we were 25 minute walk from the city center in an area that looked like "bombed out Beirut." I was definitely taken back and didn't know what to do with this surprise. We put our bags in the most horrible room we have ever seen and started walking toward town. i decided we could find another hotel and take a taxi back to retrieve our bags.
We were in a strange place with no idea what we would find. We were more and more perplexed as we came to the center city that we saw no hotel. Finally, we come to The Buddha Bar Hotel. It was an exquisite looking boutique hotel (which meant it looked expensive). We decided to try it and they had a room available. They were so nice, apparently noticing that we were "freaked out" and lost. I would have paid 1000 eu per night, but it was only 200 eu (to our surprise). They even upgraded us to a better room at the same price. They made a great dinner reservation for us at a non tourist spot up on the hill above the Danube.
I would have never booked this place because I knew nothing of it in my planning. It did not fit my idea for the trip. Yet is was perfect, one of the best experiences we had on the entire trip. Totally UNPLANNED, totally BLESSED. One of the worst moments (being lost) turned into one of our best moments.
I am sure you have had similar experiences. Then why do we make sense of "being lost" with some horrified look? Maybe "being lost" is God's way of saying, "the sense you have that you are in control is an illusion."
I have plans for you that you can not even imagine.
Expect Blessing in "being lost"!! certainly worth pondering .......
random musings from the heart of a CRAZY old man (dedicated to those who inspire me)
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Saturday, May 17, 2014
making sense of idioms
An idiom is a collection of words and phrases that illustrate a point figuratively, absent the literal translation of the words and phrases. On my recent visit to Passau, Germany, the guide pointed out the origins of several words and phrases that she claims came from the area.
Here is a pic of a door in a small alley in Passau, Germany. the door has a small door in the middle of it that opens to the outside. The legend is that during the black plague of 1693 the doctor would pass through the streets and open the little door at homes with the plague. Once open the doctor would step back and with a 10 ft pole, would extend bread and water to the person in the house, staying safely back away. Thus, we get the saying "I wouldn't touch it with a 10 ft pole."
"saved by the bell" - often when someone would die from the plaque, they might not be really dead. They found this when they opened coffins (they would bury more than one person in a coffin) and saw scratch marks on the inside of the lid. thus, they began putting beels on the fingers and toes of the deceased, wait three days. If they heard nothing, then the person was indeed dead. if they heard a ring they would open the coffin to a live person.
"bless you" - a symptom of the plague was sneezing. thus, when a person would sneeze, others would say, "bless you", placing a prayer of favor on the individual in hopes it would ward off the plague.
"the walls have ears" - the rooms of gathering for royalty were heated by coal and wood burning furnaces in the walls of the rooms. To reduce the soot and filth from the fire, there was a walk way between the walls that servants could walk to place the fuel. Often they would overhear conversations among the royalty, fueling gossip and rumor among the common people.
"not worth your salt" - the first known outpost of the Roman army that paid their soldiers a salary was in Passau, a part of the Salzburg region. Salzburg means salt fortress and was the most prominent source for salt. Thus, salary is from the same root ("sal") and is derived from the practice of paying with salt.
Whether these explanations of these idioms are in fact accurate is beyond me, but it is always intersting to ponder the source of our most used sayings ....
Here is a pic of a door in a small alley in Passau, Germany. the door has a small door in the middle of it that opens to the outside. The legend is that during the black plague of 1693 the doctor would pass through the streets and open the little door at homes with the plague. Once open the doctor would step back and with a 10 ft pole, would extend bread and water to the person in the house, staying safely back away. Thus, we get the saying "I wouldn't touch it with a 10 ft pole."
"saved by the bell" - often when someone would die from the plaque, they might not be really dead. They found this when they opened coffins (they would bury more than one person in a coffin) and saw scratch marks on the inside of the lid. thus, they began putting beels on the fingers and toes of the deceased, wait three days. If they heard nothing, then the person was indeed dead. if they heard a ring they would open the coffin to a live person.
"bless you" - a symptom of the plague was sneezing. thus, when a person would sneeze, others would say, "bless you", placing a prayer of favor on the individual in hopes it would ward off the plague.
"the walls have ears" - the rooms of gathering for royalty were heated by coal and wood burning furnaces in the walls of the rooms. To reduce the soot and filth from the fire, there was a walk way between the walls that servants could walk to place the fuel. Often they would overhear conversations among the royalty, fueling gossip and rumor among the common people.
"not worth your salt" - the first known outpost of the Roman army that paid their soldiers a salary was in Passau, a part of the Salzburg region. Salzburg means salt fortress and was the most prominent source for salt. Thus, salary is from the same root ("sal") and is derived from the practice of paying with salt.
Whether these explanations of these idioms are in fact accurate is beyond me, but it is always intersting to ponder the source of our most used sayings ....
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
"Ars Donandi"
"the art of giving was described asa successful strategy to create and maintain social, political, and economic relationships"
from the Russian jewelry room in the History Museum in Vienna, Austria (which included an exhibition of the Faberge' eggs)
I found this quote interesting because it shows the historical practice of social exchange as the main behavioral strategy for relationships. As you know by now I write and teach extensively about this human imperative and the role in plays in how mankind has from the fall (original sin) been sentenced to pursue their well being (happiness) by exchanging their behavior for favor from others.
The destiny of this human imperative guarantees our anxiety and eventual despair because we depend on others to act in a way that provides us acceptance and esteem.
This is in a sense being "stuck in stinkin thinkin"
from the Russian jewelry room in the History Museum in Vienna, Austria (which included an exhibition of the Faberge' eggs)
I found this quote interesting because it shows the historical practice of social exchange as the main behavioral strategy for relationships. As you know by now I write and teach extensively about this human imperative and the role in plays in how mankind has from the fall (original sin) been sentenced to pursue their well being (happiness) by exchanging their behavior for favor from others.
The destiny of this human imperative guarantees our anxiety and eventual despair because we depend on others to act in a way that provides us acceptance and esteem.
This is in a sense being "stuck in stinkin thinkin"
Saturday, May 10, 2014
making sense of the stages of life
In the book "plant a Wlanut tree" the author references four stages of life. I like his idea but add my own little twist. between the two of us I kinda see life in these four stages:
1. exposure
2. accumulate
3. leverage
4. spread
Exposure is the early stage of life when we experiment with various paths. We try a number of different things and begin to see exactly what scratches the itches of our soul. We call this "finding our self."
Accumulate is the time in our life where we add knowledge, skill, and experience to our unique abilities and calling. We study, learn, and perform duties that build competencies.
We leverage our competencies as we accept responsibility for leading others toward mutual accomplishments. In this stage we generally personally benefit by acquiring wealth and respect for our commitment to lead others for the overall success.
The last stage is the time for eldership, not leadership. Here we no longer seek personal gain nor group accomplishment. We simply spread around to others, who may be in any of the earlier stages, wisdom, insight, and encouragement to their paths.
Its probably difficult to argue much with these stages. The question remains, however, what causes these stages to be more or less productive and satisfying for different individuals, at all stages. I believe there are at least two forces at work in individuals' lives.
One is the ego, which is the self. There is nothing wrong with one's ego, it just means we aware of self. Egotistical means that we structure our life around our ego. We make sense of ourself and our world around us based on how it affects us. Being egotistical at each stage stunts or constrains our development, and we do not fully become and display our true self.
Another is institutional imperatives. These are the forces of organizations we belong to along the way that require us to behave a certain way to be accepted. Our institutions are families, employers, schools, and broader culture. Trading off our calling to conform to to others in exchange for acceptance stunts our growth, development, and contribution.
Freedom from egotism and institutional imperatives all along the journey produces the life we were meant to live. These are some thoughts for those looking forward from one looking primarily back. take it or leave it but at least u should ponder it ......
1. exposure
2. accumulate
3. leverage
4. spread
Exposure is the early stage of life when we experiment with various paths. We try a number of different things and begin to see exactly what scratches the itches of our soul. We call this "finding our self."
Accumulate is the time in our life where we add knowledge, skill, and experience to our unique abilities and calling. We study, learn, and perform duties that build competencies.
We leverage our competencies as we accept responsibility for leading others toward mutual accomplishments. In this stage we generally personally benefit by acquiring wealth and respect for our commitment to lead others for the overall success.
The last stage is the time for eldership, not leadership. Here we no longer seek personal gain nor group accomplishment. We simply spread around to others, who may be in any of the earlier stages, wisdom, insight, and encouragement to their paths.
Its probably difficult to argue much with these stages. The question remains, however, what causes these stages to be more or less productive and satisfying for different individuals, at all stages. I believe there are at least two forces at work in individuals' lives.
One is the ego, which is the self. There is nothing wrong with one's ego, it just means we aware of self. Egotistical means that we structure our life around our ego. We make sense of ourself and our world around us based on how it affects us. Being egotistical at each stage stunts or constrains our development, and we do not fully become and display our true self.
Another is institutional imperatives. These are the forces of organizations we belong to along the way that require us to behave a certain way to be accepted. Our institutions are families, employers, schools, and broader culture. Trading off our calling to conform to to others in exchange for acceptance stunts our growth, development, and contribution.
Freedom from egotism and institutional imperatives all along the journey produces the life we were meant to live. These are some thoughts for those looking forward from one looking primarily back. take it or leave it but at least u should ponder it ......
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Beyond Leadership?
I met with a lady named Dorothee recently in Amsterdam. She is a colleague of my son whose role is organizational effectiveness. I met with her because of the similar interests, although we are a generation and continent apart. When I left she gave me a book entitled, "to plant a Walnut tree." She never said why she gave it to me. As I started reading it, I began to see what she was seeing that I ahd been thinking about myself but could not put it into words.
The book really deals with the question, "what is beyond leadership?" The book introduces a term i had heard often, but within specific contexts, especially the church. The word is "eldership." The author captures his life's journey, which is similar to mine. He had lived a full life, much of it as a leader, building and implementing courses for others to take in conjunction with his own aspirations. While society purposes retirement as the late life stage, he, like me, is questioning whether we were really meant to retire, or to take on a different role "beyond" leader, since we had mostly moved passed our positions of authority in organizations.
The book claims elders are those "who are respected, not for a life of perfection, but because of their gravitas, their wisdom, their ability to rise above everyday and see the bigger picture." Elders are no longer focused on work and achievement, but rather they are interested in the climate and environment in which members of organizations live. which affect the members effectiveness and growth. While "eldership" may be the answer to "what lies beyond leadership?", it is an age old notion that has rarely been explored contemporarily.
The book provides a number of qualities of an elder that I found interesting as I reflect over my own life.
1. They themselves have made the "journey of life" - there is little that they have not seen or experienced and very little surprises them. they value life's story.
2. They operate off of an internal compass - the elder is driven by his/her intrinsics, they do not sway by demands of the world around them and do not act in exchange with their environment
3. They haven't avoided suffering - suffering builds patience and forces one to focus beyond the little stuff.
4. They are advocates for the "middle voice" - they are not activists associated with a personal agenda nor passive, uninterested in issues, but active in seeking collaborative perspectives that bring people together.
5. They have a servant's heart - they listen, they wait on others, free to not have issues be about them, free to take risks with loving others, avoid placing blame and admit "I was wrong"
6. They are holistic thinkers - emotional intelligence, critical thinker, include many perspectives
7. They are passionate about wisdom - an aspiration to see others applying truths well (appropriately and consistently) in their life.
Personally, I have sensed that I am at a pinnacle of what I have to offer others and at a trough with regards to seeking personal gain. yet, our society seems to want to set aside "elders" in favor of the more current thinking young leaders. While I once saw myself at this stage of life as a professor guiding students, i have become more aware of the role of elder in which i find myself more about coaching the coaches.
Thanks Dorothee for your insights gathered from just a one hour time of connecting with each other and for the initiative of putting this book about growing walnut trees into my hand.
worth a little pondering by us all .....
The book really deals with the question, "what is beyond leadership?" The book introduces a term i had heard often, but within specific contexts, especially the church. The word is "eldership." The author captures his life's journey, which is similar to mine. He had lived a full life, much of it as a leader, building and implementing courses for others to take in conjunction with his own aspirations. While society purposes retirement as the late life stage, he, like me, is questioning whether we were really meant to retire, or to take on a different role "beyond" leader, since we had mostly moved passed our positions of authority in organizations.
The book claims elders are those "who are respected, not for a life of perfection, but because of their gravitas, their wisdom, their ability to rise above everyday and see the bigger picture." Elders are no longer focused on work and achievement, but rather they are interested in the climate and environment in which members of organizations live. which affect the members effectiveness and growth. While "eldership" may be the answer to "what lies beyond leadership?", it is an age old notion that has rarely been explored contemporarily.
The book provides a number of qualities of an elder that I found interesting as I reflect over my own life.
1. They themselves have made the "journey of life" - there is little that they have not seen or experienced and very little surprises them. they value life's story.
2. They operate off of an internal compass - the elder is driven by his/her intrinsics, they do not sway by demands of the world around them and do not act in exchange with their environment
3. They haven't avoided suffering - suffering builds patience and forces one to focus beyond the little stuff.
4. They are advocates for the "middle voice" - they are not activists associated with a personal agenda nor passive, uninterested in issues, but active in seeking collaborative perspectives that bring people together.
5. They have a servant's heart - they listen, they wait on others, free to not have issues be about them, free to take risks with loving others, avoid placing blame and admit "I was wrong"
6. They are holistic thinkers - emotional intelligence, critical thinker, include many perspectives
7. They are passionate about wisdom - an aspiration to see others applying truths well (appropriately and consistently) in their life.
Personally, I have sensed that I am at a pinnacle of what I have to offer others and at a trough with regards to seeking personal gain. yet, our society seems to want to set aside "elders" in favor of the more current thinking young leaders. While I once saw myself at this stage of life as a professor guiding students, i have become more aware of the role of elder in which i find myself more about coaching the coaches.
Thanks Dorothee for your insights gathered from just a one hour time of connecting with each other and for the initiative of putting this book about growing walnut trees into my hand.
worth a little pondering by us all .....
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