My friend Art

My friend Art passed away today after nearly two years of battling pancreatic cancer. He was still playing a little golf a few weeks ago. He was a lovely man, no one ever spoke an unkind word about Art. He was an engineer from Illinois. Spent most of his career in the oil business. He was organized to the hilt and everything was viewed through "critical" eyes of cause and effect.

He grew up in a Christian home and made his home as Godly as he could. He must have done somethings right because his kids and grand kids anchor their lives in Christ. Art was the most active member of the men's Bible study I taught several years ago in our community. By active, I don't just mean attendance, but he probed every teaching, testing every thought and concept. He was well into his 60's, been in church all his life, but never engaged a serious Bible study, never owned his own bible. He actually had an aversion to this sort of group thing, religion had been a private thing for Art, but now was different for him for some reason.

He was drawn to Scripture. His eyes were opened to God's eyes. His life begin to transform, his mind moved from carnal to Kingdom Spiritual). His relationship with his adult children began to change. His wife and family saw this transformation right before their eyes. He found joy he had never seen before. He read scripture with an understanding he never had before. He was quick and eager to tell of the joy he found in knowing Jesus.

THEN, Christmas 2009 he got the word about his cancer. Of course he and his family were devastated. News you have cancer is a horrible thing to hear, especially pancreatic. But it was Art who lifted them all up with hope and eyes toward God. His new understanding of God had built in Him a faith that transcended circumstances. He lived the last months (about 22) as a testimony to all in our community of the Grace set before him. He was the one who made others comfortable with his condition. The carnally minded around us were amazed!! Art did not focus on what to do about dying with cancer, but he always sought, "how must I now live?"

What set out as just another attempt at a men's Bible study, prepared Art for Glory. There are no accidents in God's economy. The angels are welcoming Art into his eternal home and I know Art recognized them all for he had seen Glory already through the eyes of faith. What a privilege we have to partner with God in what He is doing, even when we think we are just doing ordinary things.

May we all be as blessed as my friend Art!! 

"Here come the judge!"

Most of us are taught that judging is something we shouldn't do. We often rely on the scripture "Judge not, that you not be judged" to constrain our tendency to be judgmental. However, maybe the issue is not whether we judge but through what "mind" we judge, carnal or Kingdom. Taken at face value, we cannot operate in life without making judgments. After all, to judge simple means to "decide upon something critically."

We say, "you can't judge a book by its cover." That is, we must look thoroughly into a matter or action in order to determine if it is right or wrong, good or bad. Well, if we cannot actually refrain from making judgments, on what basis are we "to judge," especially when we are judging others? Jesus anticipates this when He says, "and with the measure you judge it will be measured to you." Maybe the trick to judging is in the idea of the "measure," which is the instrument by which we critique.

We find some insight into this matter when Jesus said, "the one who speaks on his own authority seeks his own glory" (John 7). What does it mean for a person to seek their own glory? This starts with protecting oneself from what others think, exalting oneself over another, a form of self-righteousness. However, "seeking one's own glory" goes further. Judging another ultimately results in casting he/she into shame.  Since "speaking on one's own authority" is basically judging from a carnal mind (the measure), we might say that when we judge others as a means to glorify self, we seek to shame the target of our judgment.

Interestingly, it is our shame that put Jesus on the cross and it is the cross that eliminates our shame. Oh, so the Kingdom mind (a better measure) tells us that when we critically view others through the eyes of the Cross (Grace), then God will use our actions to transform and to restore the target of our judgment, not shame them.

Good idea and something worth pondering ....

making sense of ideas?

This was recently said about Steve Jobs

"I think he better than anyone understood that while ideas ultimately can be so powerful, they begin as fragile, barely formed thoughts, so easily missed, so easily compromised, so easily just squished."

Have you ever wondered where ideas come from? Scholars who study CREATIVITY believe that they are formed in our subconscious where divergent thinking can flourish, then converge and "come out" when we are able to be quiet and reflect. During these times our subconscious can inform our conscious and an idea emerges to us for use in our thinking. This may explain why we can wake up at 3 or 4am with a thought that is our best thought of the day. Through sleeping, our conscious mind quietens and thoughts that were generated in our subconscious "seep out". This particularly happens for me when I have an "active mind", that is I am working on a complex problem, research paper, or anxious about the coming day.

However, where does the subconscious get its "material" for ideas? No one really knows this. The carnal mind would probably say that one person is more "gifted" in creativity than another and it is just a human ability. This may be so, but it still does not explain the creation of a thought - something coming from nothing.

The Kingdom mind tells us that God is the Creator. He is the only One with the ability to produce something from nothing. He is the source of life. Ideas are life and have power. So when I get an idea, maybe through this subconscious-conscious linkage, I smile and say "Thank You God." When I get a thought, I do not assume I did it, but that God gave it to me. I believe this is one form of His Grace.

When asked about God, Steve Jobs said (and I am paraphrasing) - I think about Him some, more after I got sick. I think there is 50-50 chance there is a God. I would like to think there is something after this life, but life could be like an on-off switch. I don't like the idea of on-off switches so i don't put them on my computers.

Even if S Jobs and many others like him do not have a good IDEA about God, somehow it got squished along the way, God's common Grace provided him with ability and the ideas that blessed him and the world in many, many ways. 

Why didn't God give Jobs a better idea about Himself (God)? Why are the ideas about God transforming and powerful for some and not others?  
GOD ONLY KNOWS!!!

"Easy come, easy go"

            
Like many development communities around the country, The Cliffs is undergoing some financial stress due to the economic downturn and credit crunch. This has led to much uncertainty and accompanying anxiety among the residents and club members. Its interesting to see the reactions of those who have much of their life's savings in their home and club membership. There are those who are cynical of everyone who offers a solution. These believe everyone "out there" is after their "pile." They are cynical because they believe people in power will ultimately act in their own self interest when decisions are made. But more importantly, this cynicism is based on the notion of who owns the "pile". This belief goes to the heart of stewardship.

The carnal mind believes that what we have accumulated belongs to us. This notion assumes we "possess" things. If we believe we own things and it has been us who has worked to accumulate them, then we will see others as predators of our "pile." These people are angry and suspicious and are destroying relationships with friends and neighbors. This is the same mind set we see in many elderly people as they approach death. They start seeing others, especially their kids, as predators to their "pile," and family relationships become strained.

The Kingdom mind starts with the notion that God owns all things, they flow to us from God's Grace, and what we have has been given to us to caretake for God as He directs us. Instead of "possessing", we are stewards. We don't own anything. We move His things around as He pleases. This keeps our hands open and out-reaching and results in more of an "easy come, easy go" mindset that allows us freedom from the bondage of our stuff. Relationships are enhanced, not strained.

Isn't that what God desires of us anyway?  Something to ponder ....

making sense of "ugh!!"

                   

When the girls were teens and life was not going as they wanted, their favorite phrase was, "life is doo-doo!!" Adults do not escape life's messes, but we are a bit more sophisticated and say things like, "ugh!!"

From a carnal mind "ugh" means that social exchange is not working for us. Somehow we are not able to get from the world around us what we want to meet our needs. So we give up (depression) or we get more self focused and try harder to extract from others what we want (self-serving).

From a Kingdom mind, "ugh" reminds us we are not self-sufficient and we should immediately hear (following our "ugh") these words from our Father, "my Grace is sufficient."

Thus, when we are harmony with the Kingdom, "ugh" is actually a blessing!!  Imagine that ....

Making sense of conflict

Many people see themselves as "conflict avoiders." They believe that conflict is a negative state and we should structure our lives to avoid it. However, the study of conflict has produced a perspective of value in conflict. How can people at odds with each other ever be good?

The source of some conflict is natural. That is, in business we know that while a company wants inventory levels to be lower and service levels to customers higher, when we reduce inventory we likely negatively impact service level. Sales people would like to be able to customize products for their customers to increase sales. However, flexibility in product features increase the cost of manufacturing. Thus, just the physical design of of world carries with it conflict. This must mean that our goal can not be to avoid it, but to effectively make sense of it so that we manage it well.

Another source of conflict is what I call idiosyncratic. That is, conflict exists because of differences in people, such as values, personality, needs, etc. The husband has no problem buying a set of new golf clubs, but cringes at the thought of a new dining room suit or "bed ensemble". The husband wants to sit quietly and read the paper while the wife wants to talk. Why did God create man and woman so different and then say "go have the most intimate relationship humans can have"? Why is marriage NOT between golfing buddies or  garden club ladies?

Why would God create things this way, so different but so interdependent? While we may not know why, we do know He did. We pray "give us this day our daily bread." How does this happen? Occasionally God did just shower down manna from heaven to feed His people. However, His main plan is that He gives to each person a calling, a vocation, from which the world's sustenance comes. But how, God distributes His gifts through each part of the food chain, the health care chain, the public safety chain, the family, the church, and so on. Each person exercising his/her gifts in interdependency with one another gives each person their "daily bread". This is what Martin Luther called "the mask of God." God showers His blessings on His creation behind the scenes of people playing out what He has put in them. Thus, we are all dependent on God for our vocation and then dependent each to the other to faithfully carry out that calling.

Conflict then is the mechanism God uses to keep us from believing we are an island and can go it alone. Conflict gets us out of our self centeredness and self sufficiency (both enemies of our relationship with God) to see that we are called to serve others with our calling. Conflict provides us a constant reminder that in our interdependence human needs are satisfied and God is glorified.

Making sense of conflict with a Kingdom mind helps keep us in harmony with the Heavenlies (remember, that is one way to make sense of righteousness)!!

Life as an "amputee"

Some people have lost a hand, foot, arm or leg through war, accidents, or disease. Beyond the physical limitations such severe loss carries with it grief. Others may have physical appearance and activity constrained by paralysis. They too experience grief from severe loss. I have have not walked in these shoes but I do understand that while what is lost is apparent to others through some form of physical abnormality, grief is the UNSEEN psychological recognition of loss that also accompanies the obvious. This isn't so apparent. Loss of self image, esteem, purpose, and enjoyment of some offerings of life affect those who experience physical "deformity".

However, grief is not limited to the loss resulting from some physical constraint. Loss of a relationship carries with it just as much of a sense of loss. Relationships are loss through death but also through rejection. When we lose a relationship, we are likewise subject to the impact on our self concepts and life's enjoyments. In the loss of someone we love and depend on in some way for our well being, we become like the "amputee" in many ways. Psychological pain from grief is similarly as traumatic as loss of function.

When we grieve, we go through stages, such as
1. denial
2. emotional pain (maybe even guilt)
3. anger
4. "depression" (feelings of loneliness and hopelessness)
5. restoration
6. reconstruction
7. acceptance and hope

The time it takes to move through these stages varies by person and situation. However, when someone comes along beside us to encourage us, we usually get the words "you just need to move on with your life." While such encouragement is usually well meaning, it doesn't seem applicable until about stage 6 or 7. Do we really help the person in grief with that kind of encouragement when they are still in the early stages? Do we further our own pain as one grieving when we think that we are just supposed to be able to do just that, "move on with our life", when we are still stuck in stage 1,2, or 3? We need to remember to be patient with others and with ourselves as grief must work through the stages.

One other point - even when we complete all the stages of grief, does that eliminate the loss? No, we are still an "amputee". While we may overcome the effects of loss on our self concepts and find other activities of life we can enjoy, we still have the loss of the physical function or person in our life. Its OK to be sad about our loss even when we are restored, reconstructed, and hope for the future has returned. The encouragement from others can compel us on but its still OK to remember and rejoice over what was.

The older we get, the more personal losses make up who we are and the more likely we are to live the life of an "amputee". I think that is why maturing in Christ means the power of Grace has taken care of a lot of grief :-)

"It's the Real Thing"

I spent 12 years in the Coca-Cola system from late 80's thru the 90's. These were real glory years for Coke. Much of this time their main advertising them was "It's the Real Thing". Obviously Coca-Cola Company believed that people wanted to connect with what is real. I hate to disappoint anyone, but Coke is not it :-)

Jesus says in John 17:3, "and this is eternal life, that you know the only true God and Jesus Christ whom He sent." The word "know" does not mean "know of" or "know about" but was applied to knowledge that comes from sexual intercourse and literally means deep intimacy. The notion of eternal life does not mainly refer to everlasting (although it is), it really refers to the life that is real for our soul - that which makes our soul alive? The Greek word is zoe and means God's life. It is intimacy (deep level of experiencing) with God and with special people in our life that is the real thing!!


So what does this mean to us? This truth taught me that the only reality is that which is lived out in relationships. I found that tasks, jobs, careers, family, friends, neighborhood, etc. are all just the context in which we find ourself in relationships with others. No matter what our achievements, popularity, status, or wealth, when we lie down at night to go to sleep, the quality of our key relationships seems all that matters. One of my regrets is that I did not know my parents in this way and my life has lost something because of it.


I adopted a principle I think about a lot which goes like this, "the point is not the point, the person is the point." I admit I fail miserably at remembering and applying this. When I started teaching, I really wanted to do this with students. I still find myself focusing on my lecture, the schedule deadlines necessary to complete all the material in a semester, student disruptions, etc. and miss many opportunities to relate to those God placed right in front of me.


I had no idea abut this truth as a young man. I was an especially focused task person. I left "road kill" all over the place. I "destroyed" people in relationships because I didn't even notice that the relationship with the person was where life is really lived. I know better now BUT oh my, do I still need the power of Grace!!!!  It's possible you do too .....

Strength or weakness??

        

As I have reflected over my life to make sense of who I am and what I do, I realize that regardless of the context (business organization, church, as a professor, father, husband, friend), I seem to need to help others make sense of themselves and their world around them. I call this "helping others get rid of their stinking thinking." Like the cartoon, it feels like "my solemn duty to stamp out ignorance" and in many ways it has fueled much of my success.

Helping people make sense of important concepts that are complex and usually misunderstood appears to be God's calling on my life. I know some organizations and many people have been helped in significant ways by my instruction and mentoring. For this I am thankful and humbled.

What I (and all of us) must realize, however, is that what God has given me for good can also have a dark side. The gift itself is neither good nor bad, but how I use it. When I have used my gift to bolster my pride, gain power over another, or to defend myself against attacks, I am outside of God's will, this is sin, and the outcome for me is not good. Usually this takes the form of insensitivity and arrogance. This restricts the   intimacy and trust that produces joy in relationships. It drives wedges between me and others.

God, please give me the power of Your Grace to use my gifts with a Kingdom mind and when I don't, forgive me!!

Daddy, come dance with me!!

She says to her dad "turn the radio up, that's my favorite song." The 9 year old little girl then gets out of the parked car, walks out into the grass, looks back at her dad, with an infectious grin, says "daddy, come dance with me." While the dad is certainly touched by her request, he's too "adult" to do such a silly thing. Everyone's watching and he doesn't like to dance. So he sits and watches her twirl as if he is holding her and leading her around the dance floor. Then, one day soon she is gone. Taken from the father suddenly in an accident. His heart is broken for his chance to dance with her is no longer.

The son prepares to run late one afternoon as he has grown accustomed to do. He turns to his dad and says "daddy, come run with me." The dad doesn't like to run. He feels too old and out of shape. The father wishes his son would do with him the things he wants to do. The father expects the relationship to be on his terms. The son drifts away from his father, nobody seems to care anymore about the other.

Dealing with the physical loss of his daughter and the emotional loss of his son, the father seeks God for what he should be as a father. After all, to the world he seemed to be doing a good job, but he knew in his heart he was not the man or father God wanted him to be.

The lessons he learned and the message to us:
For the daughter: daddy, win your little girl's heart so that one day she will desire to give her love to the man who God chose to love her as Christ loves the church.
For the son: daddy, release in your son the man God designed him to be so that he one day knows how to be God's man for his family.

I saw the movie "Courageous" last night. While I do not want to spoil the plot for you, the point is timeless, but very timely for a lost and dying world. God created fathers to stand in the gap of spiritual warfare for the family and to point his children one day to the Heavenly Father.

We are in a time when life's struggles "beats" down the dad. Wives lose respect for their husband and husbands begin to resent their wife. In the midst of the hurt they cause each other, the children lose. I have seen fathers, who confess to be a Christian, self-righteously turn their children against their mother because the wife destroyed the man's ego. This is so sad. Josh McDowell once said, "the greatest gift a father can give his children is to love their mother."

While God can heal and transform and restore the lives of those whose fathers have failed them, life works best for all children-to-adult transitions when Daddy stands courageously against all odds for his family.

Dads, dance with your daughters, run with your sons. Invade their world, embrace who they are> After all, isn't that the Grace we received to live out and pass on???

me and my daughter :-)

"Please take it, it is freely given"

I was talking with a friend recently and he shared with me that he has spent years living with a broken heart. The person he believed he was created to love would not receive his heart. He believed he would have given his life that she might prosper. He pleaded "please take it, its freely given!" He was not sure whether she did not want to be obligated by his love, or felt she was not worthy, or whether she felt guilt or shame. He wasn't sure because she would not discuss it with him. This left him lonely in his own imagination.   @akw

As we talked about this from the Kingdom mind vs. the carnal mind, insights emerged that encouraged our soul, while we knew the human experience was difficult. What became salient to us was that this is a glimmer of how we respond to God. He has sold out to us by giving the ultimate gift of love, His son. He pleads with us, "please take it, it is freely given!" While He is patient with us we dilly dally with His love, failing to receive it, to be transformed by it, for many of the same reasons my friend's heart was rejected. This must hurt God very much. He wants our fellowship, He delights in us. Our push back on His love, failing to receive it, is to our detriment. His love is steadfast.

When we see life through eyes of GRACE, we always see His heart and are drawn closer to Him. I think that's why we are told to "count it joy in our trials." Every circumstance, especially the tough ones, is an opportunity to learn to love as God loves us, that's why all things work for good for those who are called by His name!!
YES !!

making sense of faith

I have posted a number of blogs that develop the notion that faith is the sense-making mechanism of the Kingdom mind. That is, faith helps us make sense of our self and the world around us through trusting God's perspective. However, many of us struggle with making sense of faith itself. I know I do. By definition, faith is the assurance of things not seen. Faith does not prove itself through assessing our circumstances. Typical rational thinking does not help us with knowing about our faith. It actually works against "without hope, in hope believed" (Romans 4).

People don't think about this much. Many may not struggle with the question: when is walking "not by sight" really faith and when is it simply delusional? One reason may be how little we really depend on faith rather than our trusted "cause and effect" conclusions based on tangible evidence. I had a Christian friend who would regularly say, "I am a functional atheist." By this he meant he rarely trusted what God had to say and what He had done, but was easily swayed by how things looked to him.

I know the older I get and the more I try to hear God, the less my life fits cultural norms. So when I sense I am called to trust God, things may look a little bizarre. Its easy for carnally minded people to accuse those who are walking by faith as being Pollyanna (only seeing the good) or delusional (only seeing what they want to see) because faith is not born out by circumstantial evidence and legalistic behavioral prescriptions. This reminds me of a cat we used to have. Instead of hiding herself away she would cover her eyes as if to say, "if I can't see you then you can't see me." In other words is faith trusting in the unseen or simply refusing to see reality? Are we rationalizing or are we hearing God?

How DO WE KNOW our actions are of faith?

The account of early Christians may give is us some insight (Acts 4). The Apostles were viewed by the mainstream as trouble makers. They were threatened and told to quit spreading the message of the resurrection of Jesus. Their response included some ideas that may helps us understand when we are walking in faith against the norms of our day.
1.  They claimed they were compelled to act. (South Ala meaning of compelled, "can't not do it").
2.  They reminded themselves that God is Sovereign.
3.  They pointed out that even the Cross was purposed by God.
4.  They recognized they had no power of their own.
5.  They were bold in their actions.
6.  As a result, Grace covered their heart.

Maybe this helps some, but on this one, I find myself still pondering .....

"Just keep the faith"

All of us have found our self at times when our situation is not meeting our aspiration, sometimes by a lot. Whether it is related to finances, our relationships, our health, our goals, etc., well meaning people come along beside us and say, "just keep the faith." Now, they are well meaning, but what do they really mean?

The carnal mind makes sense of this encouragement by assuming that if we keep trying, keep persevering, then we can finally get the outcome we want. Our culture reinforces this with movies like "Rudy", whose theme is "one can have their dream if they just keep after it, don't ever give up." While there is nothing wrong with trying hard (the Bible tells us to persevere), its just this relationship between us trying hard and ultimately landing our dream is a lie of the world's system. In reality Rudy did not reach his dream through his own efforts and just keeping the faith. Others had to act on his behalf because he was not skilled enough to accomplish his dream (playing football at Notre Dame). The fallacy in the carnal mind with "just keep the faith" is the assumption the power is in our faith in our self and/or in others.

The Kingdom mind informs us that the power of faith is in the object of the faith. For example, if we wish to walk out on a frozen pond, what determines whether we sink or not is not how much we believe the pond is frozen but the actual degree to which IT IS FROZEN. While we are told to act in faith, (1) the faith we have was first given to us by God and (2) the validity of the faith is in the object of the faith, not the strength of the faith holder. God desires our well being, but that is not defined by us or our circumstances. He is always working in us for His good pleasure (Philippians 2). He determines what is good, not our dreams. In fact our prayer should be that He give us our dream and then we can be assured we will ultimately receive it. In the final analysis God's "dream" for us is to live a life that trusts in Him, not our circumstances for our well being.

This is really GOOD NEWS in that none of us can hold our circumstances together forever, even if they seemed perfect for us.  So when someone comes along side of you and says, "just keep the faith," let your mind go to the One who is faithful, smile, and say, "He does!!!!"

Certainly something worth pondering ....

The Excellent Life

                        
                                    making our self the agenda is not a very good agenda 

A long time ago a high achiever discovered that the Kingdom perspective of one's resume was a more excellent way to understand one's self than a carnal view. Faith in Christ for his well being was far better than a life full of great accomplishments (Philippians 3).

He used Jesus as the "Prime A" example when he reminded us that Jesus "emptied Himself of the privilege to be God" (Philippians 2) and did some things for us we did not even ask Him to do. In fact, because of the carnal mind, many people even now reject (cannot receive) this thing Jesus did for us simply because He loved us.

When Jesus walked on earth He said "no greater love hath a man than he lay down his life for his friend." The notion of "lay down one's life" literally means "set aside one's agenda". While most of us will never find our self physically dying for someone else (the way we tend to view this scripture), we all have our agenda that we seem to place ahead of others (that is why disruptions frustrate us so much). Maybe "laying down our life for another" can be more practical for us if we focus on how much keeping our agenda is our priority and stands in our way of loving others.

Carnal mind - make our "pile" (what we have & what we have done) as big as we can, make sure we meet our needs first, play it safe, and "look good" to the world around us.
Kingdom mind - see that setting aside our agenda in loving another is a more excellent life than making our "pile" high, getting our needs met, avoiding risks, and being esteemed by others.

Certainly something worth pondering ....